Free Range Blessings

Rosie plays with Daddy, aged 3 months old

2009-03-07T20:11:00.001Z

New Blog Address

2009-02-19T09:18:00.002Z

I've had a few people say that they filled the form below for the new blog address but haven't heard back from me. I hope it is working ok. I did reply to all the messages I received. If you didn't hear a reply from me please try again and remember that the code box IS case sensitive (usually they aren't). You should get a message saying whether you were successful or not. If it doesn't work please leave a wee comment so that I know. Thanks.

Right now I'm off to England for 10 days so will have lots to blog about when I get back. Over on the new blog, of course.

Time for a change

2009-02-13T16:13:00.008Z

After three years of blogging it's time for a change.
I am going to start a new blog, at a different address.
If you would like the new blog address please fill in the form below and the link to the new blog will be emailed to you. Please state who you are, how long you've been reading the blog and tell me a little about yourself :)

Thanks, and see you at the new place!
Bree
(Scroll down for the form)

Fifteen Wonderful Years

2009-02-12T15:20:00.029Z

Love is not a matter of counting the years,
But of making the years count...

Today is our fifteenth wedding anniversary, and I have now officially known Dan for more than half of my life! I have to say that the 15 years spent married to him have been the most content, exciting, fun, memorable and above all the happiest.

15 years ago we were both very young, very different people, still trying to work out who we were and where our place in the world was. But we have grown together and bonded in a way that is precious and, I think, unusual these days. Rather than growing apart we have knitted closer together. I couldn't imagine a life without Dan by my side, and I know he feels the same way. Some people believe in soul mates, and some don't, but I truly feel that I have found the person that I am destined to be with; that there is no one else for either of us, no one better suited, that we are just perfect with each other. After fifteen years we are no less in love than we were the day we married; in fact our love is stronger, more passionate and enduring.

Who would have thought that at the ages of 16 and 21 we would, by chance, meet the person we were destined to spend the rest of our lives with?

Fifteen years later, both a little wrinkly, a little grey, a bit fuzzy round the edges, we have some precious memories and some great stories to tell. We now have 4 adorable, precious children, each of whom are the light of our lives. After 15 years and 4 children we try to spend time doing things together, just the two of us. We have our own interests, and our joint interests.

This morning I woke up to discover a big plate of croissants, a cup of tea and Dan standing with 15 balloons in his hand! Each balloon has a little note inside it, and I am popping one each day for 15 days. Isn't he romantic?? He also made me a plate of 'fifteens' which are my favourite treats! Not just a plate of fifteens, but 15 fifteens! Plus he gave me an envelope full of vouchers, which I haven't opened yet.

I made Dan a book of Love and I was really pleased with how it turned out. Its basically a printed book of all the photos of us as a couple, with little love poems and quotes next to them. It is possibly the most romantic thing I've ever done, as quite honestly, I don't have a romantic bone in my body (yes, I know, it's so unfair that I am married to the most romantic man in Britain!) Dan said it was the best present he ever received, so that made me happy. He keeps reminding me that our anniversary isn't over yet, so I'm not quite sure what else he has got up his sleeve.

Dan,

You are the most amazing man. Every one who meets you thinks that you are an awesome husband and father, and its true. I love you with my whole heart, with everything that I have inside me. You are precious to me and I treasure every day that we spend together. Don't ever change. You are divine just the way you are. Here's hoping we spend another blissful 15 years together.

Love you forever,

Bree

Little piglets and pretty flowers.

2009-02-10T19:56:00.009Z

These first 2 months of Grace's life have just flown past. Where does the time go? Tomorrow she has to get her injections, and I'm not looking forward to it. I tried to convince Dan that he should take her, since I went through it all with the other three, but he didn't seem at all convinced. She has a blocked up nose at the moment. We have all been suffering with sore throats and threatening colds, so I guess she has caught it too. Her cry sounds a bit hoarse. Last night I got no sleep because she was snoring like a little piglet! She kept snorting and frightening herself! Poor thing. Her breathing sounds very snorty and snuffly, but she's such a good little thing and never complains.

Right now her biggest brother Jimmie is holding her on the sofa and he has just told me "I wish she could stay like this forever. I don't want her to grow up!" The kids are all starting to bond with her even more now that she smiles and reacts to them.

Jimmie and Annabelle are off this week for half term. Barney has one more day of school before he is off too. I went to his parent teacher interview on Monday and spoke to his teacher. As I expected he is doing just fine at school. She says he is settling in well and making friends. She told me she was very touched when Barney told her that he loved her! So sweet.

I had a lovely surprise yesterday when a parcel of flowers arrived in the post for me! Dan was a bit bemused about who might be sending me flowers though! hehe. As it turned out, they were from my lovely friends C and C who decided to cheer me up after a certain situation that I had to go to the police about. The flowers made me cry at first, but then every time I looked at them I remember that I do indeed have some very special friends, and I am a very lucky lady.

Here are some photo's from week 8 of Grace's life...

This is Grace wearing the snowsuit that Neil bought her. Her legs don't go into the leg holes yet, so she's not actually as long as she looks in this photo!

Memories of childhood

2009-02-08T14:02:00.002Z

Last week one of my friends mentioned that she'd bought a CD because she noticed that this song was on it. And boy did it bring back some memories for me!

I had to go to youtube to listen to it again. I am sure all my sisters will recognise this tune. It reminds me of happy evenings as a child when Dad would pick up the guitar and entertain us all. He had a great repertoire of songs, some hilarious like Grandma's Feather Bed, or The Court of King Caractacus, or even I Know An Old Woman Who Swallowed A Fly! We used to jump up and down and beg him for our favourites.

But my favourite was this song 'The Streets of London', which I personally feel sounds much better when my Dad sings it. Just listening to it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, and reminds me of the safety of childhood when life was carefree and easy.

Snow-Woman!

2009-02-07T18:33:00.002Z

Daddy and Barney enjoyed the recent snow by building a snow woman, complete with a Walmart nursing bra for feeding her non-existent snow baby. Cool. This fine specimen is currently on display in our front garden.

Grace chatter - 8 weeks

2009-02-05T12:19:00.001Z

Happy Days

2009-02-05T10:23:00.005Z

Today is a good day.

For one thing little Grace slept for 10 hours in one go last night, so no night time feeds! Of course I didn't sleep all that well because I was constantly listening out for her and expecting to be getting up. But hopefully this will be the start of a better night time routine. She's still asleep now. She woke up for a feed at 7.30, and went back to sleep at 8.30. Now at 10.30 she's still snoozing. Maybe she's having another growth spurt.

Secondly, it's snowing today, and the kids all had fun playing snowball fights this morning before heading off to school. It is still lightly snowing now, but I'm not sure if there will be any snow left by the time they get home from school.

Thirdly the stressful situation that has been bothering me for weeks seems to be finally sorted out. That's one huge weight off my shoulders. Plus I have the most amazing husband in the world; my hero.

A whole family update...

2009-02-04T14:10:00.010Z

I have so many little things that I need to blog about, and so little time to blog these days. It's been 8 weeks since Grace was born, and it's been 8 very busy, hectic weeks. I'm posting a lot of photos with this blog, at least one of each of us. You can see the larger photos by clicking on them.

We are very proud of Annabelle who came 2nd for her age group in the UK National Archery Championships! Way to go girl! There is a photo below of her with her new silver medal. She has been progressing at Archery for a few years now, and recently won a bronze medal for overall achievement in her class. It's great that she has her own interest and something that is just for her. Jimmie did Archery for a term, a few years back, but soon lost interest.

Sunday was Dan's 37th birthday. We had a pretty quiet day until my sis H and her hubbie D came round. Daddy was spoilt with lots of lovely presents including DVD's, books, new clothes etc. I think he had a nice enough day, all in all. He was touched that Annabelle spent all her pocket money on his birthday present. How sweet of her. Next week it will be our 15th wedding anniversary. How time flies! There is a photo below of Dan on his birthday, and one of my sister H cuddling Grace and Barney.

Yesterday Daddy and the kids made some home made ice cream cubes, filled with raspberries, marsh mellows, chocolate and nuts. They are going to eat them tonight after dinner. Barney loves to create with food in the kitchen, and luckily for him his Dad is only too happy to help. Threre's a photo below of Barney making his ice cream cubes.

Grace is growing up so fast. She is getting into a good routine now. She's pretty good at night time, waking up for feeds at about 1am, 5am and 8am. In general she drinks her bottle, then I change her nappy, then we cuddle for a few minutes while I enjoy her almost constant smiles, then I pop her back into her moses basket and she generally just goes back to sleep. I couldn't ask for a better behaved baby, and for that I am very grateful! In the mornings Dan takes her for an hour or so while I catch up on sleep.

I need to concentrate on her daytime routine a bit now. I've noticed that she tends to have a good long sleep in the afternoons and I want to get her used to sleeping in her cot for that, so that the eventual transition at night time from moses basket to cot goes easier. I am so relieved that she doesn't suffer from constant colic like her eldest brother did. I had a nightmare time coping with him for the first few months as he never stopped crying at night. It's been a very stressing couple of weeks due to a certain attention seeking individual who has seemed incapable of leaving me alone. I'm sure I wouldn't have coped with all that if Grace had been a more difficult baby. Hopefully this poisonous person who insists of twisting the truth, back stabbing, and creating drama has finally decided to leave me alone. I have blocked her from contacting me in every way that I know how, so I'm pretty sure I'm safe from any more stress.

It does seem very strange having children at such different stages in life. Jimmie is a full on teenager, Barney is just starting primary school and learning to read etc, whilst Grace is still at that stage where she needs feeding every three hours. Let me not kid, it is very hard work! But also very rewarding. I do sometimes feel that I am stretched too thinly between them all, and I'm sure the older two get a lot less attention from me than they would like.

I am thinking of having a civil naming ceremony for Grace in the summer. Our other three children all had dedications in the church that we were in, but that isn't going to be happening for Emily. I was looking at the civil ceremony website and have some ideas now for a celebration of her birth. It's much like a christening, without the religious aspect. It would be a great day for our family to all enjoy some special time together. Instead of God Parents, some people are chosen to take a special interest in the child's life. They chose different aspects of the child's life that they wish to contribute to. People can say prayers, or read poems or basically whatever they like. I am looking forward to doing something like this without the interference of the fellowship using it as an outreaching activity. The only thing that's dampening my enthusiasm to organise it is that I was going to ask one friend to be one of her 'godparents' (for want of a better name) but that person is now not a part of my life any more. Anyway, I really must start to think about it a bit more.

25 random things...

2009-02-03T10:39:00.003Z

I wrote this 25 random things post for facebook but thought I might as well stick it on here too....

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

1) I believe that I am married to my soul mate. My husband is like an extension of me, and I couldn’t imagine life without him. We are best friends, and still desperately in love after 15 years of marriage.

2) I have a tattoo of a phoenix/eagle on my back which represents freedom, liberty and new life to me. I also have my tongue pierced.

3) I can not stand selfish people. I can cope with many other attitudes, but selfish, self centred people make my blood boil.

4) The most surreal moment in my life lately was sitting on death row, locked in a room with three convicted murderers, whilst they sang a song to me with the chorus “I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?”

5) I am very against abortion.

6) If I won the lottery I’d spend the rest of my life opening and running orphanages where-ever they are needed most.

7) I have read dozens of books about inter-country adoption, and always wanted to adopt a child, but ended up getting pregnant with baby number 4 instead. I don’t know if I have the energy left to pursue that dream any more.

8) I have the biggest crush on Ville Valo, the lead singer of gothic/love metal band from Finland. Everyone knows it, even Steve. Lol.

9) I do not love easily. But if I do decide to love you, I will love you with every inch of my heart. If you then decide to stop loving me back, it will break my heart.

10) I spend most of my life in a mind controlling cult which I am truly happy to be rid of. There are people in my friends list who are still in this cult and will no doubt now delete me, or send me silly emails after reading this. But quite frankly, I don’t give a damn any more.

11) I collect photos. I am not a good photographer, but I photograph everything, probably to people’s annoyance. I love to treasure happy memories through photography.

12) I have been writing an online blog for three years now. Most of it is just blogging about daily family life but I have also blogged about the death sentence, the state of prisons in Zambia, adoption, Christianity and raw food lifestyles & sprouting. I love writing.

13) I fully intend to write a book someday. Possibly soon. But I may well never let anyone read it.

14) One of my favourite songs of all time is called ’Pussy Liquor’ by Rob Zombie. Lol. It has an awesome beat to it and I’d love to belly dance to it one day, despite the title. My other top tunes are ’No Leaf Clover’ by Metallica, ’Gone With The Sin’ by Him, ’I Don’t Care’ by Apocalyptica and ‘Riders on the Storm’ by The Doors.

15) I am a keen belly dancer, and love the belly dance shows. I particularly enjoy dancing to rock/metal tunes, instead of Egyptian music.

16) I have a bit of a fetish for dressing up (which probably encourages my love of belly dancing!) I am a bit of a closet goth and love any occasion to dress differently.

17) I have always been claustrophobic, but since having my head pinned into a metal casket in an MRI scan tube, and having the mother of all claustrophobic panic attacks - I am now extremely claustrophobic and find many normal situations very stressful. Travelling on public transport, planes, elevators are all very stressful for me. Or even queuing up in a crowd can start my heart racing and the beginning of a panic attack.

18) I have pulsatile tinnitus, the sound of my own blood whooshing past my ears, due to a kinked artery in my neck.

19) I have vitiligo and will one day be whiter than Michael Jackson! Lol. It’s true. Although I am extremely pale anyway, I have a disease that is slowly bleaching my skin free of any pigment. My hands, armpits, and the top of my legs are already white, but it’s spreading year by year.

20) I am very perceptive and generally know exactly what people are thinking or why they do things. Not much gets past me.

21) I am a very deep thinker and often think it would be much easier in life to be extremely shallow and dim.

22) I often dream about dying, or that moment of death and wake up in a panic thinking ‘this is it, I’m dying’. I have a fear of being in a coffin. Lol. I know, I will be dead and won’t know anything about it. But given the choice I’d rather be burned on a funeral pyre with no coffin, or dumped out at sea somewhere, or even just left to rot naturally in a forest!

23) I am almost completely unshockable and am the most open minded person that I know.

24) I have an insatiable desire to travel and to see as much of this planet as I can before I die. I recently took my family on a half year trip across America in an RV. I hope that this was the first of many journeys.

25) I believe there may well be life on other planets, and often wonder how other humans may have treated their ‘earths’. Space is such a huge place, who knows what lies further on than we have seen? I find it very hard to believe we are the only ones.

2009-02-02T22:03:00.001Z

I would like to point out that I have a tracker on this blog, and I am starting to feel stalked.

Happy Birthday to Daddy

2009-02-01T20:28:00.003Z

Barney lights the candle's for Daddy's 37th birthday cake. Happy Birthday Daddy!!!

Rejection, thoughts from Radiohead.

2009-02-01T16:19:00.007Z

I do find rejection hard. But being rejected by someone that is deeply cared for is not just hard, it's sad, frustrating, agonizing and just very difficult. I've been rejected by people many times throughout my life, for varying reasons - some my fault and others not. When we left the fellowship that I'd attended all my life I was shunned and rejected by the people that we left behind. But I was expecting that. They should know better, but they don't. I've been rejected at work many times, and by past friends and family. I'm not very good at putting up with people if I can see that they don't really like or respect me. I'd rather just let them be and get on with my own life.

The last few weeks I have been very down though. A very special friend who I cared for deeply decided to reject my friendship, and without any explanation as to why. I have been left very hurt and upset, and totally confused. I hate not knowing why things happen, it's so hard to have closure that way. I purposely kept away from blog writing for a few weeks because I knew that if I started to write about it, I'd get totally carried away and use it as a form of therapy that I might later regret.

I am getting over that sadness now, although it will never completely leave. After the sadness I was angry, so angry, and I literally did not eat for 2 weeks. It was almost as if someone had died in my life. I was in mourning: grieving. I have always been guilty of wearing my heart on my sleeve: letting people too deeply into my thoughts and feelings, and sharing too much of my love. I always welcome people into our family home, show them hospitality, treat them as a member of the family. I expect people to be the same, to be honest, and not selfish. The older I get, and the more I journey through life, the more I see that people will always let you down. With each heartache, hurt or rejection, it becomes harder to let people into my life. I start to feel that I shouldn't let people get close to me and my precious family, in case they take advantage of us and cause more pain. My heart is getting hard and losing faith in people.

Today was Dan's birthday and he had asked for a certain Radiohead DVD. After all the discussions we have had about why our friend has shunned us in this way, he opened up the DVD cover and said 'darling, you should read this'.

So here are Radioheads thoughts on rejection. It's amazing how a rock band DVD has caused me to sit and think. Maybe it's not all my fault. Maybe I'm not a terrible person. I have to start trying to believe that, although my confidence and self esteem are shot to pieces, and I find it hard. I guess it will just take time.

"If you have been rejected many times in your life, then one more rejection isn't going to make much difference. If you're rejected, don't automatically assume it's your fault. The other person may have several reasons for not doing what you are asking them to do: none of it may have anything to do with you. Perhaps the person is busy, or not feeling well, or genuinely not interested in spending time with you. Rejections are part of everyday life. Don't let them bother you. Keep reaching out to others. Keep reaching out to others. When you begin to receive positive responses then you are on the right track. It's all a matter of numbers. Count the positive responses and forget about the rejections."

2009-01-26T09:38:00.000Z

A night out...

2009-01-24T18:30:00.004Z

A night out with my little cousin. Not much to say, but here are some photos of us. We are both totally gorgeous!

More photos for the family to see

2009-01-22T14:48:00.003Z

The top photo is Annabelle showing off all the badges that she collected and earned on our trip across America. The three big kids all have a flag each on their bedroom walls now.

Baby smiles..

2009-01-19T20:59:00.003Z

I noticed that I have neglected to give our new addition to the family a blog name, and even though we've been calling her by her real name for weeks, I shall now be referring to her on the blog as Grace. I hope it doesn't confuse anyone!

I just had to post this gorgeous photo of Grace smiling at her Mummy. Isn't she adorable? She started smiling at 3 weeks, but the last few days (5 weeks old) she has really been smiling big time.

Last night at 4.30am, after a feed, I lay her in her moses basket and was treated to a huge smile, followed by her first giggle. She shocked herself with the noise she made, then followed it by cooing at me, then a big belly laugh. It was adorable. Her first little noises, apart from grizzling and crying!

Tummy time

2009-01-16T18:06:00.003Z

Emily and Daddy

2009-01-16T16:58:00.002Z

Daddy and his little baby girl, 16th January 09.

Emily at 5 weeks old

2009-01-16T16:54:00.003Z

Aged 5 weeks old. Emily now weighs 8lb 12oz. Still less than her big brother was at birth.

Emily, age 3 days old, in hospital

2009-01-16T16:48:00.002Z

A short video of Emily in hospital at 3 days old. You cant tell how teeny she was until you see my hand on her head. Cute. She's grown so much already. This is her at 7lb 80z.

One month old already

2009-01-11T01:52:00.005Z

It's hard to believe that Emily is now one month old already. Why does pregnancy go so much slower than life after the birth?

This week has pretty much been the week from hell for me, and I have barely made it out of bed. Until today when I managed to make it to Mum's house for dinner. I'm not going into details about it here, so instead, here are some photos of Emily at 4 weeks old.

I must also mention that we have enjoyed Emily's first real smiles the last few days. On Thursday morning she woke up next to me, and when I leaned over and said good morning to her she beamed a great big precious smile at me! Then followed it with 2 more smiles. I almost cried. She has been looking at us more and taking in our faces and her surroundings, and really trying to communicate with her mouth. This evening we enjoyed about 5 more smiles before she drifted off to sleep. It's amazing to see her growing, changing, and learning so fast. They grow up far too quickly, but watching them is like watching a miracle unfold.

2008 - a year of adventure

2009-01-05T15:50:00.007Z

I am sitting here with Emily in her sling. I've finally worked out how to get her into it without dropping her! I managed to get a bit of housework done with her in the sling, but my c-section scar started hurting after about 15 minutes, so I've had to sit down for a while. She feels so warm all snuggled up against my chest. I hope I get time to write this before she wakes up for her next feed, which is due any time now.

Well, no doubt about it - 2008 was a year packed full of adventure and good times for the M family. What a year! I'm looking forward to a restful 2009 after all last years excitement. This time last year we were busy packing suitcases and trying to plan our route across America. I remember the daunting feeling I had as we walked into our RV home for the first time. I wondered if we had gone totally insane and was sure we'd all kill each other during five months of living in one room on wheels together. But it turned out to be the trip of a lifetime. We saw the most spectacular, awe inspiring sights, spent precious family times with our children, and bonded as a couple on our 14,000 mile drive across the USA.

We closed down our business in January 2008. This has been the first year that Dan hasn't been self employed for what seems like a lifetime. It's taken him quite some getting used to, but he's finally learning how to relax. It was a big decision for us to close down our beloved CD shop, which was our little baby, but it was certainly the right thing to do.

Obviously the biggest change 2008 brought to the M family was the arrival of our fourth child, our souvenir from America. Nine months of pregnancy have flown past. I guess that's because 4 months of them were on the road. I don't relish the mornings waking up in the RV with morning sickness, having to drive sometimes 200 miles whilst feeling terribly nauseous and wanting to just be back at home in my own bed. 39 weeks and one caesarean section later, we have the most beautiful little baby girl.

So 2008 has brought so much to our family but here's a brief summary and reminder...

adventure - travelling for 5 months, what an awesome adventure!
surprises - a new baby girl
sadness - the death of Dan's uncle was a very sad time for him and his family
sickness - plenty of morning sickness, plus suffering from high blood pressure complications during pregnancy for me. And a bad spell of asthma for young Barney.
laughter - plenty of that! I still wake up laughing when I remember Dan walking into the fly screen at Tammy's house in California (twice!)
friendship - we made some lovely new friends on our way round America, as well as strengthening some existing friendships this year. I also lost a friendship that was becoming unhappy, which was a sad time.
music - I finally got to see Metallica in concert! (Emily's first gig too!)
schools - Barney started his first year at primary school, whilst Annabelle started her first at secondary school.

Emily's crying for a feed again so I will have to leave it there. But here are some memories of our year in photo form...

Emily pics

2009-01-04T13:40:00.003Z

Some pics of our little bundle of joy... now aged 3 weeks...

Christmas 2008

2009-01-01T14:29:00.010Z

I am way behind with my blog posting. I am missing the Christmas post, my birthday post, and a post about 2008. I guess that happens with a newborn and three older kids in the house. So heres a brief account of the most amazing Christmas ever!

So Christmas Eve was our first with 4 stockings. Annabelle helped Emily hang up her stocking (not that Emily really knew anything about it) and Barney enthusiastically left out the mince pie, and carrot for Santa and Rudolf. It took Barney hours to get to sleep. He kept getting up to look out of the window, peeping for Santa. But the plus side of this was that he didn't wake up until 9am, so we had a nice lazy start to Christmas day.

Christmas Day itself was quite relaxing as we didn't have to make a dinner this year. Mum had invited the entire family round to hers, so we spent the morning lounging around in our PJ's whilst the kids opened their presents. (I spent much of the morning nursing Emiy too!)

The bigger kids both received a new mobile phone for Christmas along with various new clothes, hair accessories, sweets, chocolate and general teenage stuff. Annabelle enhanced her Nightwish collection with DVD of their music, patches to sew onto her jeans, and Nightwish stickers to decorate her room with. Jimmie received Lost series 2 and 3, and hasn't come out of his bedroom for days since as he is glued to the telly. Emily got a few little stocking fillers which Barney eagerly opened for her. Barneys most exciting present was a Gameboy, which has hardly left his hands since.

Christmas Dinner at Mums was divine! She cooked for 14 of us! The turkey was not just a turkey... it was a duck inside a turkey inside a goose... and it was mouth wateringly good. She spent something like 12 hours cooking it and was up to tend to it during the night, much like a newborn!

Dishing up time was a mammoth task and involved help from almost everybody. The adults all sat at the main table, the big kids sat up at the breakfast bar, and the little kids had a wee table of their own. Emily kindly slept through dinner time, just long enough for me to horse down my food before she needed nursing again. The food was just delicious (Thanks Mum!) and the company was the best.

Mum had a Christmas tree in her huge living room that was actually bigger than my house. It was massive. It doesn't look all that big in this photo because it's such a huge room. But it was a sight to behold. And underneath it were the most amazing hampers for each family that Mum must have spent weeks putting together. Our hamper was filled to overflowing with lots of different types of home made fudge, a huge box of home made truffles, home made spicy nuts and lots of other delights too. Dan was extremely taken with the big new saucepan that was included, and he hasn't come out of our kitchen since.

After every Christmas comes my birthday, and I am now another year older. This year we planned a quiet day, as I'm not yet recovered from my C-section, and am feeding Emily what seems every 5 minutes anyway.

Barney woke me up in the morning by bringing all my presents up to the bedroom. Traditionally we always open birthday presents on my big bed. Barney was even more excited than me and handed me each present, watching with enjoyment at every one I opened. They gave me a new HIM t-shirt, the new Dawn French book 'Dear Fatty', enough bath stuff to keep me clean for an eternity, and lots of other things too.

In the afternoon the midwife made her final visit to our house to discharge us from her care. At the end of her visit people started turning up at the house and I realised Dan had invited people round for my birthday, as a little surprise. He's so cute like that. So we had a nice lunch with family and friends and I got more prezzies! Barney helped me blow out the candles on my cake. Not quite sure why I had a big '2' candle on my cake though!

On that note, I must go, as Emily is awakening for yet another feed.

2008-12-27T23:47:00.009Z

Before I write a blog post about Christmas I want to write one in more detail about Emily's birth, mostly for my own memories. The last one I wrote was so brief as I was rushed. I want to get it all down on here so that I can read over it in years to come.

Emily's birth didn't really go to plan. I'd had three natural births but was booked in for a caesarean section this time. In an ideal world I would have preferred a home birth, or a water birth, but my main concern was that both baby and I would survive the birth intact, with minimal damage. I was quite upbeat about the idea of the C-section. I didn't feel that I was missing out on much by not pushing her into the world myself, but I really wanted to be awake for her birth and to enjoy her first precious moments.

After an 8 hour wait I was taken into the theatre. It was a daunting place, so huge, so white and sparkling clean, so full of scary equipment with a table in the middle for me to lie on. It was odd to just walk into the operating theatre as a perfectly healthy person and to lay myself down on the operating table. Buzzing around me was the anesthetist, his assistant, and a few midwives. The anesthetist was a lovely friendly man who had already talked me through the procedure and all the risks involved. It was agreed that I would have a spinal block, which is similar to an epidural in that it numbs the body. Whilst I sat on the operating table waiting for the anesthetist who was opening hundreds of packets and laying equipment out neatly on trays, a midwife chatted away to me in an attempt to keep me calm and to distract me from the goings on.

Eventually they were ready to start the spinal. I sat on the edge of the table with my feet resting on a chair. They gave me a pillow to hug and I had to curl up around the pillow to arch my back, which is not an easy task when one has a baby in ones belly! The anesthetist kept trying to get me to curl further, to open up the vertebrae in my spine, and the assistant in front kept trying to lower my shoulders until I could get into the perfect position. It wasn't easy and it wasn't comfy. Once I was ready they put an injection into my back to numb it slightly, and then I had to sit very still whilst they passed a needle through to my spine. It was a strange sensation. I could hear popping and feel pushing. As soon as the spinal was in they quickly got me lying down, before my legs went numb.

I lay on the table with a sensation of pins and needles starting in my feet and spreading up my legs. My legs went numb pretty quickly. Then the anesthetist spent 20 minutes rotating and tilting the operating table to get the spinal to spread evenly across my body. He kept running ice along my stomach and asking if I could feel the coldness. I could feel no cold, just a touching sensation. Eventually they said they were ready to start the operation, and a midwife put up a screen around my chest so that I couldn't see what was going on. Another midwife said she would go and fetch Dan so that he could be with me to watch the birth.

At this point a surgeon turned up. I don't know who he was and had never met him before. He just winked at me with a scalpel in his hand! He started pinching my stomach and I told him I could still feel it. They seemed somewhat surprised and tried to convince me that I couldn't feel it. But I could. So the anesthetist said they'd make the first cut and see how it went. Right then I felt a scalpel draw a 7 inch long line across my stomach and felt the skin parting! I told them I could feel it and so they told me the spinal hadn't worked and I'd need to be put to sleep for the procedure. I was upset for Dan more than anything because I knew he wanted to be with me. A midwife went off to tell him that I was having a general anesthetic and he was taken to a room to wait for his baby.

Immediately someone was injecting something into my arm, and the anesthetist was holding a mask over my face. He held my head down whilst someone held my neck, then held the mask over my face and I started panicking because I felt so terribly claustrophobic. I told him that I couldn't breath, and he replied that I must be breathing because the balloon was going in and out. But what I meant was that I wasn't getting any oxygen, as I was hyperventilating. It's a good job that I fell asleep at this point because I was about to have a claustrophobic panic attack! The last thing I said before being put to sleep was "make sure you give the baby straight to my husband!" And I heard a "yes dear".

A few minutes later my baby girl was born, and I knew nothing about it whatsoever. Apparently she weighed 7lb 8oz and was healthy. I don't know if she cried, or what she looked like. I don't know how soon it was before they gave her to Dan. He was left alone in a room pacing back and forward. He says he walked the carpet bare waiting for news. A midwife came to tell him that he had a healthy daughter and he asked when he could see her. A few minutes later he saw another midwife and asked the same question. Then he heard two midwives saying "we better get that baby down to that Father pretty quickly". They brought her into him, wrapped in a towel, and left them together for an hour whilst I was stitched up.

The next thing I remember was the annoyance of being woken from a deep sleep. I was in the recovery room, but thought I was at home in bed. I remember hearing the voice of the anesthetist who was leaving now that I was waking, then I heard people calling my name and telling me to wake up. But I didn't open my eyes until I head Dan's voice saying "she's so beautiful honey, wake up and see how beautiful she is". Then I remembered that I was in hospital having a baby! I opened my eyes long enough to see that Dan was holding a baby girl wrapped in a towel down by my face. She was crying a little bit and didn't like being held at that angle, so he lifted her back up. A few minutes later I started to come round properly and although I had an oxygen mask on my face I was calling out "where's my baby? I want to see my baby? Is she ok? Is she healthy? What did she weigh?" Dan assured me she was healthy and lay her down beside me. She was beautiful.

After a while I was able to feed her, and then my sister turned up with Annabelle, Jimmie and Barney. They big kids had a little cuddle before heading back home for the night. Then eventually, hours later, I was taken up to the maternity ward.

It wasn't really until I got home that I started to feel a bit sad about missing the birth of my baby girl. Most of the time it doesn't bother me. But if I'm alone in the dark at night, feeding her, I start to wonder what it was like... what she looked like etc. I start to feel really sad about missing out on that experience. It's something I can never get back. I am glad that she is healthy, but I still feel like we missed something special.

She is too weeks old now and I have to say that she is the most content, happy baby I have ever met. She rarely cries. All she does is sleep, feed, and poop! She's just an adorable, happy, good natured little thing. And totally adorable too. Her big brothers and sister love her to bits, and theres always a queue for someone to cuddle her. She's very lucky to be born into a family with so many people to love and cherish her.

Dan and Barney made sweets

2008-12-21T21:08:00.006Z

We thought it would be an excellent idea if we made some sweets today.

One week old already

2008-12-20T18:24:00.006Z

Time flies so much faster after pregnancy than it does in the build up to the birth! Emily is now eight days old already. I haven't had time to blog as much as I'd like (as you can imagine). I will have to catch up sometime. Emily has been a little darling, and I can't complain. She rarely cries and is such a good little girl during the night. Waking up for night time feeds is so much less stressing with a baby that doesn't cry constantly. She wakes, feeds ,then goes back to sleep.

Anyway, I just wanted to add a few photos to the blog. Theres a few photo albums on facebook which you can see by clicking on these links...

Emily day 1.
Emily day 2.
Emily day 3.
Emily day 4.
Emily week one and beyond.

The kids are totally in love with her, especially little Barney. He told me that he doesn't have enough room in his heart for all the love. He helped me with her first bath and was in charge of washing her hair, which he did very gently.

A C-section is certainly much harder to recover from than a natural birth. The scar, and my whole tummy, are still very painful and getting up from bed to a sitting position is extremely sore. The midwife put a big 20x20cm dressing across the wound but unfortunately I was allergic to it, and now i have a big rash (twice the size of the plaster) across my stomach, that itches like hell. They have put me on anti allergy tablets to try to stop the itching. Now I cant have a dressing and the wound is sort of just sitting there, a bit open and sad looking. I'm so grateful to have Dan at home to take care of the house and kids.

The birth of Emily Rose...

2008-12-17T17:11:00.004Z

My baby girl was born on Friday 12th December by planned C-section.
We arrived at the hospital at 8am ready for our section but had to wait 8 hours before being finally taken to theatre as there were so many emergencies coming in. The waiting was torture.
Finally I Was taken into theatre and give a spinal block to numb my body ready for the c section. Unfortunately the spinal didnt work and as they cut into my belly I could feel it! Within seconds they had put me to sleep, which was a shame as it meant I missed the birth and also that my husband couldnt stay with me.
Baby Emily Rose was born whilst I slept, at 4.27pm, weighing 7lb 8oz and was given to her Daddy who was left to take care of her for an hour until I woke up. The first thing I remember was my husband telilng me "she's so beautiful", and then I thought "Oh gosh, I was having a baby!" and tried to wake up. I took a brief glimpse at her and then drifted back to sleep. Ten minutes later I woke up calling out "wheres my baby? I want to see my baby?" so Steve brought her over and I had a hundred dozy questions about whether she was healthy, and what she weighed.

I was sad to have missed the birth but delighted that she was safe and well. My three older children came to visit on the labour ward and all had a little cuddle before we went up to the maternity ward.

Emily day 4

2008-12-15T22:20:00.008Z

Emily day 3

2008-12-15T00:48:00.006Z

Enily - day two

2008-12-14T00:47:00.009Z

Yesterday was a wonderful day. There is nothing quite like being at a birth of your own child. It’s the most wonderful thing in the world. To hold your own new born baby must be one of the most spiritual moments of anyone’s life, there is nothing quite like it. This is the forth time its happened now and it was just as amazing as the first time. The birth of a child is a miracle and every time it happens, its an over whelming experience that I cannot put into words, and creates such joy that cant be explained.

The day started at 6.30am when we woke up to be at the hospital for 8am. When we were checked in we found out that there was one person in front of us which was great. Soon after we found out that there were two emergencies and there would be very long delays. In the end Bree was not taken down for surgery until nearly 4pm which was a 8 hour wait. We were just happy that we were going to met our new daughter and pleased that it was not us having to deal with an emergency.

They took Bree to get her ready for the C section and get her all numbed before sending for me, but about 25 minutes later the nurse came to me and told me that they could not numb her enough and she would have to be put to sleep. We were told that this could happen and I just had to wait for word.

I have never felt more out of control in my whole life. I was going mad waiting, I wore out the carpet in the waiting room. 10 minutes later (seemed like hours) they came in and told me that a wee girl had been born. Well I already knew she was a wee girl and all I wanted was to see her. A few minutes later a different nurse came to see me and half way through her saying congratulations I stopped her and said ‘when can see her’ in quite and demanding voice (very unlike me). They took me to a different room and told me to take a seat. 30 seconds later I heard them talking saying ‘I think we better go and get that baby right now!!)

The eight hour wait instantly seemed like a few minutes now that I had my daughter in my arms. It was no price to pay and the fact that I had missed the birth no longer mattered as I had her all to myself for 40 minutes before they bought Bree back. Just me and our new born baby in a room on our own! it was magical. It was my job to take good care of her while Bree was sleepy. A wee girl that came from our American trip. A human being that now is alive because of us. Someone that generations could come from, someone that could invent the even longer lasting light bulb!.

She is beautiful, she is sweet, And I love her.

Well done to Bree for being amazing and a big thanks to all the babysitters that made the whole thing so much easier.

****************

Mother and baby doing very well toady, more news to follow soon.

Emily Rose Mayger born 12th Dec 08 at 4.20pm - 7lb 8oz

2008-12-13T08:25:00.006Z

I cant wait to get to the hospital so I will write a full account of the day later XXX

Having a baby... tomorrow!

2008-12-11T10:29:00.003Z

If you're reading this on Thursday then I'm having a baby tomorrow (if you're reading it after Thursday then I've already had it!)

Yes, today is my last day of pregnancy and I don't know what to do with myself to pass the time away. I went out for breakfast this morning with a friend, and will be up at the hospital this evening for a pre Caesarean check-up. In between I guess I shall finish packing my hospital bag, re-check things I may have forgotten to pack, tidy the house a little, take a bath.

This whole 'knowing what day the baby will be born on' malarkey is a new experience for me. After 3 natural births I am finding this experience rather odd. I haven't been waiting to go into labour, just waiting for the 12th to arrive. I'm not at all nervous about the operation, or the hospital stay. I'm just impatient and bored. I am slightly more anxious about life with another child, whether I will be able to cope with four kids, and no sleep!

Anyway, next time I write on this blog it will hopefully be with photos of little baby Emily. I can't wait to meet her, to see what she looks like. I wonder whether she has a full head of dark hair like Annabelle did, or gingery whispy hair like Barney, or whether shes a blond baldish baby like Jimmie. Dan is more nervous than me at the thought of watching his wife be cut open and his baby taken out. He's hoping not to pass out, poor guy.

2008-12-06T16:40:00.005Z

Finally, less than a week to go until the C-section (unless baby decides to make a surprise entry into the world!) and typically our car has died, so goodness knows how I will get to the hospital if anything does happen!

I was starting to get very despondent and miserable during the week after having a nasty flu bug, but Dan managed to cheer me right up by taking us all out last night. Our last night out as a family of 5 (and possibly our last night out for the foreseeable future!) He took us to Ed's Diner in Banbridge, then onto the cinema to see Madagascar 2. Dan has been waiting 3 years for the sequel to Madagascar and was more excited than any of the kids! I think he may possibly have been more excited about that, than about the baby! But we had a lovely evening out, with yummy food and good company, which has left me with a bit more of a spring in my step to make it through this last week of pregnancy.

For anyone who wishes to see the latest family photos you can do so by clicking on the following links....

Winter 2008 photos
Autumn 2008 photos
Pregnancy photos

Other news this week... Dan and Barney made chocolate crispy cakes together which made Barneys day. Dan loves to do these things at the moment while he's not working as he never used to get much free time for it before. Today we put up the Christmas tree, far too early for my liking, but it had to be done soon as I will be in hospital next weekend. Barney enjoyed putting the baubles and lights on for me.

We were sad to learn of the death of Dan's uncle in England who had been unwell for some months. Dan was deeply saddened for his family and really wanted to be able to go over to England to be with them, but with the baby being born in a few days time it's just not possible. Our thought are with Dan's family at the moment.

Counting down the days

2008-12-04T10:03:00.003Z

Eight days to go! And yes, of course, I'm watching every minute of every day tick by ever so slowly. I'm very impatient. Things haven't been helped by the fact that I had an awful flu bug all week and spent 4 days laying in bed, unable to move, eat, breath or do much else. Now I am left with a cough and cold, but hopefully they will both have cleared up by the time baby makes her big arrival.

I was very surprised that after laying in the same position for about 6 weeks, baby decided to completely turn herself around. She's still head down (as far as I can work out) but her legs are all over my left side instead of my right side. She must have put quite some effort into turning as she really doesn't have much room in there!

Little Barney has been on his asthma medication for almost 2 weeks now and is showing some great improvements in his health. For starters he is once again sleeping through the night without waking up with fevers, headaches, earaches and choking fits. He's still cold a lot during the day but is showing signs of improvement, which we are all relieved about. He will be back at the doctors tomorrow morning for a check up.

Poorly Barney

2008-11-26T17:41:00.003Z

Poor Barney has had a terrible few months. Since starting school he has had one bug after another, which is to be expected when suddenly thrust into a world of unhygienic, snotty little children. But more than that, he was been very unwell, and hes just about had enough of feeling miserable. He's been missing 1 - 2 days a week from school on average, and I'm sure the teachers wonder if I just can't be bothered to send him in. About 6 weeks ago I took him to see the doctor who prescribed him antibiotics and sent him for an x-ray. The antibiotics cleared everything up for about a week, then it all just came back again. He has a constant cough, cold, blocked sinuses, headaches, occasional vomiting and diarrhea. During the day he is always cold, I mean frozen cold, to such an extent that he needs to wear thermals under his clothes and could really do with gloves and slippers, no matter how much we heat the house. His hands and feet just cant warm up. But then at night time he wakes every night with a burning fever, hot to the touch from head to toe and complaining bitterly that he feels unwell. We have tried every natural remedy we can think of, from steam inhalations, changing his bedding for dust mite proof bedding, getting rid of rugs and anything that traps dust in his room, giving him vitamins and a childrens iron supplement. But nothing makes a blind bit of difference.

So this week I took him back to the doctors. Firstly she told me the results of his x-ray. He has an abnormal rib, a congenital abnormality that he was born with. One of his ribs splits into two and sticks out at a a funny angle. Apparently its completely harmless and he's just unique. She drew him a picture of his special rib which he enjoyed. Yesterday I drew on his chest with blue felt pen to show him exactly what ribs are and how his are different. The doctor was puzzled by his symptoms and admitted that he probably needs to have some blood tests done. But rather than traumatize the poor lad with blood tests yet she wanted to try him on an asthma treatment to see if that would help. She is seeing him again in 2 weeks, and if there's no improvement it will be onto the blood test route. So for 3 days now he has been taking 2 different inhalers, and there has been not a tiny bit of improvement so far. Part of me doesn't want him to have asthma, but part of me wonders if asthma could be a darn site nicer than anything else that he could have. It's a waiting game now to see if theres any improvement. But the poor mite is just so fed up of feeling poorly and we are all feeling very sorry for him.

Metal Bellydancing for Charity!

2008-11-24T15:20:00.004Z

Last night was probably the last night out I will be getting for quite some time! And the first night out I've had for ages as well. We went to the charity metal bellydancing night called 'Rock the Kasbah' at the Empire music hall in Belfast. The event was held to raise money for Marie Curie, and a lot of the girls I know from my bellydancing classes were dancing at it. The girls danced to live music by The Rockaholics, an amazing rock cover band who were totally awesome.

Our friend J kindly saved us seats at the invalids table (with me being heavily pregnant and her having just undergone surgery), which meant that we had a great front row view of all the dances. It was a very loud night and I'm sure little Emily wondered what was going on in there! I felt her moshing away to a tune by Led Zeppellin and I wasn't sure if that meant she liked all the noise or was trying to cover her ears.

We all bought raffle tickets as there were some really good prizes on offer. J didn't win anything despite spending £20 on tickets, but Dan was the proud winner of a bright pink ballydancing coin shimmy belt! We all had a laugh at him wearing it, and then he graciously gave it to me.

12/12/08

2008-11-19T14:50:00.002Z

Yay, we finally have a date for our planned caesarean section. Friday 12th December, 2008 should (unless I go into labour early) be the date of little Emily's birthday. Yesterday we had an appointment at the hospital and I was booked in for a C section. I was given a choice of dates, a bit like making an appointment at the dentist! But went for the Friday as it will mean I am in hospital over the weekend, and it should be easier to arrange child care for the other 3 kids at the weekend. All being well I should be out on the Monday.

The doctor did one final scan while I was there and confirmed for the fourth time that baby is indeed a girl, so I think we are pretty sure of that now. He took some measurements and said that right now, at 35 weeks gestation, she is about 6lb 10oz in weight. He estimates that shes gonna be a biggun, lol, between 8 - 9lb if born a week early as planned, is what he said.

I had to sign a heap of consent forms and was asked a lot of questions, including whether I'd like to be sterilised during the section! I hadn't even considered that so was a bit taken aback. I think he saw my face and said something along the lines of 'well you're very young but we do offer after someone has had four children'. I will have to go to the hospital on the evening of the 11th to be given various injections (anti D, blood thinners etc) and have bloods taken and a general medical check done. Then I can go home to sleep but have to be back at the hospital for 8am the morning of the 12th. If there are no delays or emergencies then the section will start at 9am.

I'm so excited about the end being in sight now and can't wait to get home with our new daughter. I have been researching how to write a birth plan for a caesarean. I read that a lot of hospitals really don't expect the parents of sections to bother writing a birth plan, but that it actually is still quite important . Ok, so it will be very different from a regular birth plan but there are still things to consider such as whether I'd like the screen lowered at the moment of birth so that I can see little Emily coming into the world, who I would like to hold the baby in the event that I have to have extra surgery under general anaesthetic, whether I would like my husband to be able to photograph the birth and the first few minutes of Emily's life, whether I would like to breast feed or not (and if so, when?), plus a host of other things.

The Mayger Family Elves

2008-11-17T15:33:00.001Z

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

5 silly elves. do you recognise any of them?

2008-11-16T20:12:00.001Z

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Happy Birthday Annabelle!

2008-11-16T15:14:00.011Z

Yay! Annabelle is 12 years old! And to top it off she had the best birthday ever. This year she received only surprises for her birthday as she didn't have anything specific that she wanted. And as I knew baby number 4 would be well on its way by now, I did all my shopping in advance. Dan wrapped Annabelle's presents up weeks ago and we had all totally forgotten what we had bought her! Perhaps the biggest surprise of the day was the big hairy spider that crawled out of her present pile and frightened the living daylights out of us all. I think that was due to the prezzies being stashed in the garage for weeks. Poor little fella.

Being a bit of a Nightwish fanatic, I made the extra effort to get Annabelle a few Nightwish prezzies - including a door sized poster, a hat, a nightwish necklace, and a calendar. She was so pleased with them, but to top it all off her best friend bought her a Nightwish T-shirt. I think she's now officially the coolest 12 year old in her class. Ah when I think back about how uncool I was at that age! I also bought her some new clothes, which she desperately needed, including some skinny fit jeans, and a pair of black patent boots which she totally loves. All in all she was totally spoilt.

The morning was made extra special by a surprise organised by her best friend. She told us to make sure we were watching the kids saturday morning show TMI on BBC2. Well what a shock it was when an email from 'Annabelle and K from Banbridge' was read out, and a photo shown of them both covered in chocolate cake mixture (see below fora screen shot of the program). They then announced that it was Annabelle's 12th birthday and the presenters sang happy birthday to her! I can't tell you how shocked she looked! If you want to see it you can watch it on the BBC website by clicking here and going forward to 1 hr 14 mins in the program. (Don't watch the full 1.5 hours!)

In the evening she had four school friends over for a sleepover. We converted the living room into a sleepover room and I have to say it looked rather lovely before they all turned up. We had balloons up, a table full of food and drinks, and two mattresses on the floor with the two sofas converted to beds. I covered the sofas with bright coloured sheets and made the place look very funky (see photo below). But by this morning the room looked like a warzone! Who knew girls could make even more mess than boys! The room was literally swimming in popcorn and chili doritos, and had a nasty smell to match. So Dan and I spent a good hour cleaning, vacuuming, washing and taking things out. Not much sleep was had before the hours of 4am, and Dan caught the girls practicing somersaults on the sofas at 3am! I'm sure there will be some moods to cope with tonight!
We joked that Annabelle looked like Ville Valo in her new clothes, which she didn't like, until I said that many people think Ville looks like a girl, and she piped up with "and he's supposed to be gorgeous too!"

Now her birthday is over and done, we have the big event of baby's birth to look forward to in just 27 days time. It will be so strange to have two daughters, instead of having boys ruling the roost. It's scary to think that when baby is celebrating her 12th birthday, Annabelle will be 24 already!

Happy birthday Annabelle, my beautiful little girl. xx

Annabelle raises money for Children In Need

2008-11-14T15:49:00.002Z

Annabelle and her best friend meet Gerry Andersen and Pudsey the bear at the Outlet in Banbridge where they were raising money for children in need. This is their photo that appeared in the local paper this week. (Annabelle on the left).

2008-11-11T11:11:00.002Z

Just a quick update blog really, as I don't have all that much to say today. We have about 31 days (who's counting?) till our little girl is due to be delivered by C Section. I can't believe it's all happened so fast, although at time's it seems like it will never be over.

Barney is more excited than ever about the arrival of his new baby sister. It used to be that every morning he would run into our bedroom shouting "its your boy!", he'd leap onto the bed, wrap his arms around me and give me big kisses whilst telling me how much he loves me. But this week, every morning, he has run in and flung his arms around my belly, kissing randomly and shouting "I love you Emily! I can't wait to see you!" He prods at my tummy asking "where are her leg? where are her lips? where are her arms?" and has many questions about whether she can hear him, whether she can see what going on in there. He quite often sits and has a wee chat with her, telling her who he is and how life will be for her. It's quite the cutest thing.

We have a birthday in the house this week. On Saturday our Annabelle will be 12 years old. As expected she's very excited, although I have no idea what we've bought her as presents, because I got all organised and wrapped them up weeks ago! I am still trying to get all the christmas presents sorted out before the baby's birth and really must get that sorted this week.

Halloween 2008

2008-10-31T21:53:00.011Z

Halloween is almost over. I've tucked an exhausted Barney into bed after a day of desperately waiting for sweets, and then over indulging to the extreme. Annabelle has gone for a sleepover at her friends house, and Jimmie is out in the front garden with 4 of his friends who are awaiting their lifts home.

He has spent the last few days organising a Halloween party for his friends, and I must say that I'm quite impressed with his efforts. He demolished my kitchen making a pumpkin shaped pinyana (I can't work out how to spell that for the life of me, sorry) which he filled with sweets, decorated his bedroom with various spooky banners and wall hangings, then lit the room with various spooky glowing balloons and lamps. It looked very impressive.

So this evening 4 of his school friends arrived, dressed up for trick or treating. This is the first time we have met his school friends and they were delightfully polite and generally likable. They went trick or treating, then hung about in Jimmies bedroom, before heading out to the garden to burn off steam on the trampoline and to break the pinyana. They were all very hospitable to little Barney, despite him being 8 years their junior, and included him in all their games, which made him one happy boy.

Dan took Barney, Annabelle and Annabelle's best friend trick or treating around the estate. Barney, who dressed as a power ranger, was beside him self with impatience all day long, waiting for Halloween to start. Dan distracted him for a while by carving a pumpkin together. They came back from their efforts with a full bag of sweets each, enough to keep him going for weeks.

Barney had also spent days preparing his bedroom for a Halloween party, which Dan and I were both invited to. He had decorated his room with spooky posters, drawings and stickers. I was amazed to discover that he had made us all party bags full of sweets, had a box full of sweety prizes, a rubbish bin at the ready for all our sweety wrappers, and various party games all set up. I discovered half the food I thought had been stolen from our kitchen was actually being given out as prizes at his party! I was the proud recipient of some plastic witchy fingers, which I wore through out the party. We played sleeping lions, musical statues, had a treasure hunt, listened to Barneys spooky stories and generally had a great time. It was great to be sitting in his bedroom at 9pm playing games and watching him lap up all the attention. I was very impressed with his organisational skills. He had thought out every detail.

This week the kids have been off school with half term and its been a good week for them. On Tuesday we took them swimming at the leisure centre with the pirate ship, flumes and crazy river in Lisburn. Dan took them to the cinema on Monday afternoon while I enjoyed the peace. On Wednesday evening Daddy had a sleep-0ver in Barneys room which made him feel oh so special. Daddy slept on a futon, and they ate sweets whilst watching the Bee Movie together. What a great Dad! I took Jimmie out for lunch yesterday and then treated him to some new jeans and jumpers (the poor boy had grown out of all his clothes). Then today I took Annabelle out for lunch and we mooched around the shops together. I wanted to spend some time with each of them, just to chat and make them feel special. Tomorrow I shall take Barney out for his lunch and chat.

2008-10-24T13:54:00.008Z

Latest update...

I received a letter this week from my consultant at the maternity hospital. At my first appointment with him I mentioned that I was worried about giving birth naturally since I have had a lot of surgery and was told at the time that having more children would be dangerous. He basically said "oh don't worry, I'm sure you will be fine". I wasn't impressed and talked to my own midwife who said there were various degrees of severity in the operation that I'd had. It seemed the consultant was presuming that I had been at the minor end of the scale. She told me to talk to him again. So at my second appointment I spoke to him again, explaining that I really did not want to risk having the same surgery or worse again, and that my doctor thought a c-section was an option. To this the consultant said something along the lines of "I'm sure a c-section can be arranged, but don't worry about it yet as you have months left". Then a few weeks ago I went for my third appointment and was booked in with the wrong consultant who was very nonchalant about the c-section option and once again said "no my dear, you will be fine to give birth naturally". To this, I almost fainted. So far no one had even looked at my operation notes to see what I'd actually had done to me! The midwife attending this consultant seemed to have her head screwed on and organised for my surgical notes to be found, and promised that she would get my consultant to read them. She obviously kept to her word as this week I received a letter from my consultant saying he had read my notes and that I had indeed had a very serious repair operation three years ago. Considering this he has decided that a c-section is indeed the safest option for me and I will be booked in to have one a week before the baby's due date. Well, I can't tell you the flood of relief I felt reading that letter. It just makes me cross that if I hadn't pushed to be listened to, that no one would have read my surgical notes until I was already in labour and it would become obvious that childbirth was dangerous for me.

So only another 7 weeks to go until we get to meet our baby daughter. I can't wait, let me tell you. I feel so uncomfortable last week and am fed up of waddling like a duck.

Here are a couple of photos of Annabelle and Barney taken this week. I just like the one of Barney. The pic of Annabelle was taken last night when she went to the school disco on what is officially her first date! (Do I feel old now? Yes.)

Birmigham

2008-10-23T18:49:00.008Z

I've just returned from a relaxing weekend away in Birmingham, thanks to my darling husband Dan and my friend 'Shanksy' who organised for some flights for me. Dan was adamant that I had a bit of a break before the baby arrives so we found some extremely cheap flights and off I went.

I had a lovely weekend and was thoroughly spoilt and looked after. It was great to see my friend 'Darwi' before she moves away to California in a few weeks time. We took a wander around Birmingham City Centre (an extremely slow 8 months pregnant speed wander - in which I almost fell over at one point!) where I met the 'floozy in the jacuzzi', walked along the canals and saw the barges trying to turn. We sat in a pub along the canal where we drank tea and chatted for hours, and where I discovered that Darwi has an almost encyclopedic knowledge of everything. I loved learning about her job and the study of the sun and outer space. It was intriguing. Especially as at the moment I have a severe case of pregnancy brain and can't remember facts at all.

Neil took me on a drive around Warwick and Stratford-Upon-Avon. I really miss the English countryside and started to feel quite home sick for the country that I grew up in. We stopped to see Warwick Castle from the outside and then walked around Stratford visiting some of the Shakespearean sites. We saw the house that Shakespeare grew up in (theres a photo of me standing in front of it below) and stopped for a well earned cuppa and a cheese toastie.

I ate a lot of bad food over the weekend, and nearly died when I weighed myself for the first time in this pregnancy. That probably wasn't a good idea. I almost died of shock. All in all it was a lovely weekend away and I was glad of the break before the madness of having a new baby in the house unfolds. Thanks Dan and Neil for organising it, and thanks to Neil for feeding and driving me all over the place. I never realised that Birmingham was such a nice place. Well, I've never been there, but it was far more like the England I grew up in than I had expected.

31 weeks

2008-10-17T14:25:00.001Z

31 week baby bump...

Our family, this week

2008-10-15T22:23:00.009Z

It's Wednesday evening at 11.20pm and I've climbed into bed to read a book, but somehow ended up with the laptop on my knee. I like Wednesday evenings. It's the night Jimmie (13) and I watch 'The Family' together. It's one of the rare times these days when he comes to sit with me for any length of time. We watch it together and discuss how the family deals with situations, and how we would deal with them. It's really a good time for us both. He always comes and sits and hugs me afterwards, which makes me so happy I could cry. I think watching it helps him to see how parents worry about their kids, and how we only nag and moan because we care. And he sees the teenagers in it behaving the way he does, upsetting their parents, and making up again. It's good for both of us to see, and there's always a good feeling in our house afterwards. I guess its a relief to see that other families face the same issues as we do.

On the subject of teenagers (one in particular) Jimmie came sheepishly up to me this afternoon after school and asked "who is in a better mood? you or Dad?" So right then I knew something was up. He came and sat on the bed with his homework diary and started to explain that he is on report this week for repeated bad behaviour. He had to tell me as there was a note from his form tutor which I have to sign every night. Apparently I will be receiving a letter in the mail from her too, and she has invited me to contact her. So its not good news. He has had Monday detentions three weeks in a row, and a few lunch time detentions, for various things - wearing his uniform too scruffy, talking in class, forgetting homework or books, being late for class. It's one thing after another. His main problem is laziness and a lack of organisation I think. So I sat and had a good talk with him. He obviously thought he was going to be in immense trouble, as he generally agreed with everything I said and agreed to improve his behaviour. I guess he didn't want to push his luck any further. It remains to be seen if we will see a marked improvement. If not I guess a trip to the school will be in order.

We talked about his schoolwork as well. His English homework last night was to describe a room in his house. He chose to talk about the utility room and the reasons that he likes it. He described the smell of bread baking, the smell of the cupboard that holds all the washing powders, the smell of the shoe cupboard, all so imaginatively. It was a really creative piece of writing, but not very long. He told me when he read it to me that it was supposed to be short. So today he came to me and said his English teacher called him to one side to talk to him. She told him that he has a great creative talent for writing, and that she thinks he could take it far, but that he is so lazy and just doesn't put the effort into his work. She feels he is wasting a great talent. So we discussed this and I tried to inspire him to work harder on English. I explained that not everyone can be good at everything. That we all may only find a few things in life that we are truly exceptional at. And when we find such things we should nurture that talent and make the most of it. I told him that he may well only be very good at a couple of subjects, so instead of feeling bad at everything, try to excel in the areas where he can. He seemed to understand and agree. But it remains to be seen whether he can overcome his laziness. He truly is the most lazy person I have ever met. (And I guess my Mum will tell me that he gets that from me!)

Moving on from Jimmie then... Barney has been absent from school one or two days a week since he suffered from a cold about a month ago. He kept waking up at night with excruciating headaches, blocked nose, a croup sounding cough, and a few times even a temperature. So eventually I was forced to take him to the doctors. The doctor thought his sinuses had become infected from the cold, and so gave him some antibiotics to take. He seems a lot better a few days after starting the medication. But while we were at the doctors I pointed out a lump on Barneys chest that I have recently noticed. As his father has Neurofibromatosis (a genetically inherited disease) I thought I should mention it. At first the doctor seemed unconcerned. But then he started feeling up and down Barneys chest wall, and counting. The counting startled me a bit, then eventually he said 'hmm, I think we should get a chest x-ray". So I thought OK, 3 months waiting for an x-ray appointment, but no, the doctor wanted me to get one right away - that afternoon! The 'lump' is hard, like bone, and kind of looks like a broken rib that has healed. I can notice it through his t-shirts, but I know it hasn't been like that since he was born. The doctor asked if I remember a time he could have broken his ribs, but I cant think of anything like that happening. He went on to explain that he couldn't find the right number of ribs on Barneys right chest wall. Two of the ribs seem fused together by bone or something. He said that it could just be a genetic abnormality - that he does actually have two fused ribs - but that an x-ray was needed to make sure it is nothing more sinister. So I took him straight over for his chest x-ray and now we have a 3 week wait for the results.

Annabelle has been mostly a darling the last few weeks. She does her homework without being asked, she generally keeps her room tidy, she is kind to Barney, and she helps me when asked. Hence I don't have much to blog about her. But I don't take it for granted that she's being so great. I know it probably wont last forever, so I appreciate it while I can. Lol. It wont be long until her 12th birthday. She is looking forward to having a little sister to take care of. I think I will barely get to cuddle little Emily once Annabelle gets her hands on her. When I mentioned that she's going to be like a second mother to Emily, Barney piped up with "and I'm going to be like a second Daddy - but I'm not going to change any smelly nappies!"

We are almost 31 weeks pregnant now. I was looking at photos today of babies who were born at 31 weeks gestation and lived to be perfectly healthy children. Our little girl weighs about 4lbs now and is fully grown in length, although she will put on about 1/2lb a week from now until birth. She has moved into the head down position ready for birth and kicks far stronger than any of my other three babies did. Her kicks actually hurt me. It's like being beaten up from the inside. I remember very strong kicks at the end of pregnancy with my others, but they were never so painful. I have started to play a song to her in the womb. I had a song for each of my babies, which they all recognised and calmed down to after birth. You can hear Emily's song by clicking here if you wish to.

H.I.M - Gone With The Sin

2008-10-09T10:35:00.001Z

My favourite song.

Happy 5th Birthday Barney!

2008-10-07T13:34:00.007Z

Yesterday saw my baby boy turn 5 years old. And boy was he excited about it. (OK, well what little boy doesn't get extremely excited about a birthday?) We all woke up early so that he could open a few presents before school, and then he opened the rest when he got home. Presents included lots of power rangers toys, an ant farm, lush bath bombs, the Bee Movie DVD, stickers, sweets and a puzzle. I had to laugh when he opened a present from me containing a new set of clothes - jeans, t-shirts, new striped casual shirt and a jumper - and exclaimed "Mummy! Why on earth did you think I'd want clothes for my birthday?!?!" Ha ha. Poor kid.

I was feeling really migrainey so Dan dropped the kids off to school while I went back to sleep for a few hours. After school Nanny came to visit and gave Barney the present he'd been wishing for - a Power Rangers Megazord! Which is basically 5 power rangers which can be stuck together and transformed into a huge giant megezord. A bit like transformers. I had the joy of spending an hour last night working out how to stick the darn things together to make the longed for megazord, but I got there in the end. (Let's hope I can remember for next time!) Nanny and Daddy had almost as much fun playing Power Rangers as Barney did.

As an added bonus we have had my sisters dog Leila staying with us for 2 nights, which has delighted all 3 of the kids.

I'm sure Dan will be writing a blog post on his often neglected blog about his trip to England with the kids, sometime in the next few weeks. When he does I'll be sure to mention it here.

A bit of me time.

2008-10-04T11:37:00.007Z

It's Saturday lunch time and I'm in bed with a cup of tea, and my laptop, listening to the pouring rain beating down on the skylights. It feels so comfy to be snuggled up in bed during a rain storm. Of course, as a mother of three (nearly four) I don't often get the chance to stay in bed until lunch time, but this weekend my darling family have gone off to England to visit Dan's family. So I have the house to myself and lots of time on my hands.

As much as I miss them, it is nice to have a bit of me time. And I have discovered during this me time, that I'm a much messier person than I gave myself credit for! Much of today will be spent washing dishes, tidying up and washing clothes. But until then I'm just going to relax in bed.

I've been busy this week trying to get lots of birthday and Christmas shopping done before our little baby girl arrives (in about 9 weeks time). I took a trip to Belfast and spent a small fortune in Primark (great place for young teen girls clothes) and yesterday I drove to Newry and spent a bit more money. Barney is having his 5th birthday on Monday and I think I'm now ready for that at least. Then it wont be long until Annabelle's 12th birthday. Then the birth of Emily, and then Christmas and my birthday. Its an expensive time of year, what with all the baby stuff we are having to purchase too.

After shopping in Belfast I ventured back to my old belly dance class with Mum. I haven't been dancing since December, before our trip to America. So that's 10 months of no dance, 7 months of which I've been pregnant... and well, as you can imagine, I was less than hot on the dance floor. The lesson was a practice of veil dancing, which typically involves lots of spinning, jumping, gliding gracefully whist twirling round a veil. Oh my goodness, I looked a sight. A heavily pregnant woman trying to spin gracefully with a veil. Well, it was fun if nothing else. And it's only going to get harder for me over the coming weeks.

Here is a photo of my gorgeous Jimmie, my teenage son, who despite his teenage mood swings is still totally adorable and lovely to his Mum (at times). I took him out to get his hair cut and styled this week as he'd been complaining that it was too long and curly, and generally looked messy (the before photo can be seen here). He is growing up so fast, now towering a good two inches taller than me, and still growing at a rapid rate. I'm sure the family in England won't believe the size of him. Jimmie and I have been watching the new documentary series 'The Family' together on Channel 4. The series follows an average family with teenagers over 100 days in their own home. There are cameras in every room and we get to see family life unfolding. It's been good for Jimmie and I to sit and watch it together, as I get to see how other teenagers behave, and he gets to see how other parents cope or struggle with bringing up a large family. I've loved every second of the show, and think the family on it are just delightful (despite the rows and fights that any family inevitably has). The kids on the show fight and argue but obviously have a deep love and care for one another which is good for Jimmie to see. And at age 14, 17 and 19 they still hug their parents! Wonderful.

Today Barney is having a little birthday party in England with his grandparents and his cousins. No doubt he will phone me later to tell me all about it in great detail. I love the little phone calls he makes to me while they are away. He phoned when they got off the plane to tell me that he thought he needed a poo! Boy did that make me chuckle. He phones me about four times a day, just to tell me that he loves me, and to keep me up to date with all the goss. They will be home again tomorrow and I'll be lonely no more. It's nice to have some time to myself, but I do miss them all. My gorgeous, precious, beautiful family.

Choo, choo, choo, Aaaachooooo.

2008-09-28T16:47:00.009Z

Why do colds always hit me when we have visitors? Typically I was bunged up with the cold this weekend when Neil came to visit. Feeling thoroughly snotty and puffy eyed, I still managed to have a good weekend, albeit with less energy than usual (not that I usually have much energy these days).

Neil arrived on Thursday night, late, as his flight was delayed. We all stayed up chatting till 5.30am, which meant that we were more than shattered for our trip to the transport museum on Friday. Dan decided he'd rather stay at home and enjoy the tranquility of an empty house, so Neil and I collected Barney from school at 12 on Friday and took him to his favourite place in the whole world. (Anyone who meets Barney will invariably be asked within 10 minutes of conversation whether they've been to the train museum or not).

We used to visit the transport museum every Saturday while Jimmie was at drama school. But because of our travels and my pregnancy we haven't been there for over a year now. So Jimmie had been looking forward to this day out for weeks. He thoroughly enjoyed showing Neil around his favourite steam engines. While Neil and I trudged tiredly round the place, Barney ran from engine to engine, full of beans and excitement. It was good to see him enjoying himself and the new adult company. Barney can be tiring, as he talks constantly and really likes adult company, and many grown-ups cant handle more than an hour of him. Although he is totally adorable in my opinion. But Neil got on with him like a house on fire and chatted away to him like they were good mates, so Barney was just in his element.

Friday evening was spent playing Monopoly. Well, I watched as I can't stand Monopoly. But Neil, Jimmie and Annabelle managed two games together. Dan took this really cheesy photo of them posing for a family monopoly board game box. Lol.

On Saturday we were all so totally shattered after two extremely late nights, so we didn't go anywhere or do anything really apart from lounging around. Well, its nice to lounge around sometimes, in my opinion. And since I was loaded with the cold, it suited me just fine. Barney treated both Neil and I to a makeover (the photos of which can be seen here) and we both looked totally gorgeous covered in glitter and lip gloss, as you can imagine.

Barney helped me make some pizza dough and we did a 'make-your-own-pizza' dinner which always goes down a treat. The kids particularly like to chose their own toppings and make their own pizzas. Dan's pizza had so much cheese on it that it weighed twice as much as it should have. All in all it was a good and totally exhausting weekend. I really wished I'd been feeling better as I'm generally a miserable person when I have the cold.

Next weekend Dan and the kids are going to England to visit Dan's relatives. I'm looking forward to a nice peaceful weekend on my own. When they return it will be Barney's fifth birthday.

2008-09-25T14:08:00.004Z

I'm almost 28 weeks pregnant now and little Emily is getting bigger every day. I don't have any medical checks till the 7th October now, they seem finally to be letting me get on with it. My BP seems to be under control on this medication now, although it makes me unbelievably tired. I'm now officially in the third and final trimester of pregnancy, the home run, with about 10 weeks until our little bundle is due to be delivered by C section. Dan is getting very excited about meeting 'his baby'. Since this is the baby that he pestered for and really wanted, we call it 'his baby' (although just for the record, they are all actually his babies!) and I'm pretty sure he is going to spoil her to bits. He keeps telling me how he can't wait to meet her and hold her. Awwww.

In preparation for Emily's arrival we have been getting lots of jobs done around the house. We both know that we wont get a minutes peace once shes born, so theres been lots of painting, decorating and furniture moving going on. Dan has re-painted one of the kitchen walls with washable paint. Its the same colour as before, just more durable and less tea-stained. We have finished changing the old downstairs spare room into a new office, which involved stripping wallpaper, painting, and getting wireless set up in there for the computer. Dan has also painted two walls in the living room. The room was a pale green colour, but it gave me migraines at night, so we have changed two of the walls to magnolia. We have put together a lot of flat packed furniture from Ikea (including a bed for Jimmie who has been sleeping on the floor for years!) And finally, we have decorated the old upstairs office and made it into a bedroom for Emily. Not that she will actually sleep in it at the start, as she will be in with us. But at least we have somewhere to store her clothes and belongings. Dan painted it magnolia, and this morning we had a new carpet put down in there. It looks just like a baby's room now, with the cot, night light and moses basket all set up. Little Barney takes great delight in arranging Emily's room. Any time a new item is bought in preparation for the baby, he takes it up to her room and puts it away. Today I found the three pink baby-grows that Id bought all 'folded' up in a drawer.

Barney is still loving school, and finally making friends. Today he ran out telling me "that's my friend Daniel over there!" From Monday he will be going full time, instead of finishing at 12, so we can expect him to be utterly exhausted.

I had to post the photo above that Dan took of me. Our mate Neil is a bit of a whiz with photography and computers and he edited for me. I really like it, even if I don't actually look anywhere near as gorgeous as that in real life. Lol. Neil is coming over to visit us for the weekend. Dan is driving to Dublin to pick him up tonight. Tomorrow we plan to take Barney to the train museum after school, and I'm sure we will do something interesting on Saturday too. We're all looking forward to seeing him again. Jimmie is planning to beat him at Monopoly sometime. Next weekend Dan is taking the kids to England to visit his family. They are all looking forward to it, whilst I'm looking forward to having a nice quiet weekend on my own. When they return it will be Barney's' 5th birthday. How the time flies.

Food to make you dribble

2008-09-15T16:47:00.006Z

(photo of Barney, myself, and my Mum - taken 15th September 2008)

It's been a busy few weeks since the kids went back to school. Little Barney is really enjoying school so far. He looks forward to going in every day, although he couldn't go today as he has caught a cold. (One of the vices of going to school!) He only goes until midday for the first few weeks, but he still comes home exhausted from all the playing. I'm so relieved that he's settling in nicely, and that he's not crying or begging not to go. It makes life so much easier.

Annabelle has settled into high school just as if she'd always been there. She never has many stories to tell when she gets home. She just does her homework and gets on with it.

One of my highlights from last week was a morning I spent playing in our big bed with little Barney. I was having a lazy day, it was the weekend, and as usual Barney crawled into my bed for some 'Mummy Snuggles'. The best part of the day is mummy snuggle time. But on Saturday we spent all morning in bed together, chatting, playing, talking about the baby and school. We were laying on our backs staring at the ceiling when Barney remembered looking at the stars together in the deserts of America. Every day he mentions something from our big trip. So we lay on our backs and stared at the ceiling, pretending it was the night sky. Barney started to name ceiling paint spots after the planets. He's been reading a book lately about space and the planets and is learning the names and sizes of each planet in our solar system. So the light in the middle of the ceiling became the moon, the light switch was Jupiter, and various paint spots became different planets, stars, and comets. But intent on being correct, Barney had to get his space book to make sure the big paint spots were named after big planets, and the little ones after little planets. We had such a lovely time together.

The 3d baby scan, or bonding scan (see post below this one) has really helped the whole family to bond with our little unborn baby girl. But none more than Barney. Before the scan he would say to me 'I don't like babies, they are gross, I'm not going to cuddle it' etc. But since seeing Emily on the baby scan and watching the DVD at home with me a few times he has totally changed his feelings on the matter. He took the baby scan photos to school to show his teacher and the class, telling them 'this is my baby sister Emily Rosie'. I picked him up from school the day after the scan and instead of running to give me a hug, he ran to my tummy, flung his arms around my bump and declared "I'm sure I will love you baby Emily". Now and then he comes up to my bump and has a little chat with it, telling the baby how beautiful he is, and what a good big brother he will be. It almost has me in tears.

Jimmie hasn't been well the last few days, suffering from a fever and headaches, so I kept him off school today, along with Barney. The spent most of the day playing Pirates of the Caribbean together, with no sign of looking ill. But it was lovely to see Jimmie (13) being so patient with his little brother and teaching him everything he knows.

Yesterday poor Jimmie missed out on a trip to my Mum's house for dinner because he wasn't well, and boy what a dinner he missed! There's nothing like your Mum's home cooking, but this food was so divine that Dan and I were dribbling the entire way home just remembering how delicious it had been! Roast leg of lamb, steak & Guinness pie, roast potatoes, asparagus, pak choi, green beans, lamb gravy, mmmmmmmmm (I'm dribbling again) - all followed by a big strawberry pie. I ate enough for three people and Dan wasn't far behind me. Even little Barney managed a big plate of food through his sniffles. We weren't totally cruel though, we took a doggy bag of food home for Jimmie to heat up. He was pleased. We all watched the 3d baby scan projected up onto Mums living room wall like a cinema screen! It was great to see it in such detail. I could watch it over and over again anyway.

I'm sure I have a heap more I could blog about but I can't think at the moment. There's so many times I intend to write a post but I just run out of steam and don't have the energy. The BP tablets I'm on make me sleep far too much, and I'm constantly extremely tired. I thought I did so well at Mums yesterday , then I remembered I'd forgotten to take my medication, so that's why I had energy! Today though I did finally get a few things done. Lots of sheet changing, washing of clothes, ironing etc. But I also finally managed to fix the drawers in my bedroom which were falling apart.

Baby Emily Rose - 3d baby scan at 25 weeks pregnancy

2008-09-08T14:52:00.001Z

At last I worked out how to do it! Here is 3 minutes of our 20 minute DVD of baby Emily in the womb. Watch for the big yawn right at the end. Isn't she precious?

Baby Emily in 3D

2008-09-07T19:01:00.006Z

Today was the day we'd been looking forward to for a few weeks. My little sister J decided to treat us to one of the new 3d baby scans that are available privately. I had told her about them and said how awesome it would be to have a DVD of the baby for her to watch when she grows up, and she decided that it would be her gift to the baby. (And no, I wasn't hinting!) So today we drove down to Dublin to see our newest little person.

Ultrasound Dimensions clinic in Dublin offers a 3d baby scanning package for almost half the price that is usually paid in Belfast.

The scan itself took about 40 minutes - you certainly get your money's worth. Baby Emily (100% definitely a girl now!) was lying with both her legs and arms across her face, so getting to see her at the start was a bit of a challenge. However, we did get her to move her legs down for a good 20 minutes before curling back up to sleep. She sleeps almost completely folded in half, sucking at her feet and legs, with the placenta as a nice comfy soft pillow.

During her awake moments it was amazing to see her face in so much detail. She has the same shaped chin that Barney had, and looks just like he did at birth. She has the same Frondigoun 'duckie lips' (as we call them in our family) that all my kids had. We saw her yawn several times, suck at her bottom lip, smile and open one eye at us. The still images look kind of spooky, but the moving images on the DVD are totally mind blowing.

The 3d experience we paid for is called a 'bonding scan'. It includes the 30 - 40 minute 2d and 3d scan, a 15 - 20 minute DVD (which comes with tear inducing music) of baby's scan session, 2 black and white 2d scan prints (the sort you get at the hospital usually), a selection of colour prints, and a cdrom of all 20 - 40 images taken during the session. The lady performing the scan was lovely, and went out of her way to try to get good images. Emily was lying in an awkward position so I spent much of the time lying on my side. But there was a big wide screen TV of the scan session for me to watch whilst Daddy and the kids watched the computer screen.

It was a great experience for the children. No doubt it will help them bond with her and to look forward to her arrival. Barney was a bit impatient during the session (the 2 hour car ride had something to do with that) but he has enjoyed looking at the photos at home. He was delighted to be told by the scanner that she was definitely a girl. He just doesn't want a boy at all. At the end of the session when she handed me the photos that she'd printing I almost burst into tears. It was just so amazing to see our unborn child's face. She looked so peaceful and serene in there, totally protected from the world.

When we got home we put the DVD on and both Dan and I were almost in tears throughout it. (The music really helps with the tears, I'm telling you). I am trying to work out how to upload the DVD onto the internet so that people can see it. I think I might have to film 3 or 4 minutes of it on my camera and upload it that way. But what an awesome experience this was. Totally worth every penny (thanks again J!) I'd recommend it to anyone who is expecting their own little bundle of joy.

You can see all the photos of the scan that I've uploaded by clicking here.

24 week baby scan

2008-09-02T12:12:00.005Z

I have written two blog posts today so be sure to read the one below this about Barneys first day at school. A big day for him.

That was yesterday. Today I had another appointment at the hospital to see the doctor in charge of my pregnancy. (It seems my consultant has gone and retired on me, so this doctor seems to be taking charge for the time being). Dan came with me for the appointment and I was glad because so much was discussed and decided. First of all they wanted to talk about the results of mine and Dan's blood tests. If you read the blog post a few weeks ago about them finding antibodies in my blood then you will know what I'm talking about.

The doctor raced so fast into medical jargon about antibodies and D's and E's, that I had no idea what he was talking about. I had to tell him that I was clueless and so he started drawing me diagrams and graphs. I already knew that I was Rhesus D negative blood group, and that Dan was positive. But this is something new apparently. It's hard to explain and I don't fully understand it myself, but genetically Dan is 'Ee' blood and I am 'ee' blood. The E stands for some sort of antibody. Dan has the big E in his blood and I don't. But somewhere my blood has been contaminated either with his or with one of my children who share his blood, which has resulted in me developing anti E antibodies. Now the problem arises if my baby shares Dans blood. The baby has a 50/50 chance of getting either Dan's blood, or mine. But since my blood is fighting Dan's blood type we have to hope that the baby has my blood type. So basically theres no way of knowing which blood the baby has until after birth. If the baby has Dan's blood my body will attack the red cells in baby's body, causing baby to become very anaemic. (At this point the doctor asked if I'd had steroids to mature the babies lungs in case it needs to be born early. That was a bit horrifying. Anyway they didn't give me any) So if baby has my blood it will be fine. Dan asked what to expect if baby has his blood, and the doctor told us that baby could suffer from heart failure. Well this was a bit of a shock. He muttered other things like fluid around the lungs, swelling around the skull - things that he would look out for on the scan.

At this point he decided to do a scan. We had an extremely long scan because the doctor was training a junior doctor in the art of baby scanning. So we got to hear a lot of technical jargon that is usually not mentioned to the observing parents. We discovered that our baby is big. At this point it weighs about 1lb 12 oz, when it should only weigh a pound. A lot of measurements were taken and doctor decided that baby was still due on 19th December, but that its gonna be a bruiser. Oh joy! I was pleased that baby is growing healthily and that it was so energetic on the scan. I asked him if he could tell the sex of the baby, and he asked me "what do you think you're having?" To this I replied, "a girl". So he said he'd take a look. A few moments passed before he said "I think you're right, it does look like a girl to me". So that was great news as we all wanted a girl to even things out in the house!

So far on the scan the baby seems extremely healthy and there are no signs of anaemia or heart failure, so that's great news, although she will be monitored more closely. At this point I asked the doctor about the birth plan. Last time I went to see him I had mentioned the possibility of a C section. Three years ago I underwent some major surgery and was told not to have any more children naturally. So I had mentioned this to him and had presumed I'd be having a section. Without knowing much about my operation he had told me that there was no need for a section and that I could have a natural birth. I wasn't convinced this was a good idea so I spoke to my GP and my midwife who both seemed horrified at the thought of me giving birth naturally again. They said that I'd certainly need more surgery if I had the baby naturally. So I nervously mentioned this to him again this time and the response I got was totally different. I said to him "Ive been talking to my GP and midwife about the birth and I really would like a C Section this time". I explained my reasons why and to my surprise he said that a c section under the circumstances was a perfectly viable option. He has ordered my medical notes to look over but he thinks there will be no problem, considering the damage that would be caused by birthing naturally. Well, it just goes to show! If I hadn't pushed it then I'd have gone through a terribly birth and needed a lot of surgery afterwards. Not that a c section is easy, but I definitely think its the safer option in this instance.

First day at school!

2008-09-02T11:42:00.005Z

Yesterday was the big day for our little Barney who had his first ever day at school. It was also a big day for Annabelle who started High School. Lucky old Jimmie didn't have to go back until today, hence him not being in the photograph. But here is a lovely picture of wee Barney and Annabelle in their school uniforms, all ready for their first days at school.

Barney had been nervous all night and hadn't slept well. He was excited, but also scared, and had a lot of questions to ask - such as "will the teachers know I'm coming?" Annabelle on the other hand wasn't nervous for a single second, right up until we arrived in the car at the school and she saw everyone going inside. Then she said "oh, now I feel nervous".

At the school Barney was a brave little trouper. I took him into the cloak room to hang up his bag, where a teacher met him and ushered him into the classroom. I gave him a hug and said goodbye and the poor little mite looked so scared that his bottom lip was quivering. He never said a word as he walked into the classroom. I got back to the car and nearly burst into tears for him.

Three long hours past before I could collect him from school. The children all came out in a line and Barney was there waving to me with a huge grin on his face. He had really enjoyed the day and couldn't wait to go back again! I was so relieved! When he got home he went looking for his Dad to tell him all about it. But Daddy and Jimmie were hiding in the kitchen with streamers and party food. When he walked in they threw the streamers over him, shouted 'surprise' and congratulated him for being such a big brave boy. When Annabelle got home from school we all eat the party food and played a few games. Dan is so good at entertaining children! He made a pass the parcel, and got together a box full of objects for us to feel and identify blind folded.

Annabelle got the bus home in the afternoon and said she'd had a good day. She was pleased that two of her school friends from primary school are in her new class, and that she has a really cool teacher for the next 5 years (according to her big brother who has analysed them all over the past 2 years!) Today Jimmie started back at school and I dropped them both off together. I feel so old having two kids in high school already!

The rest of the 'first day at school' photos can be seen by clicking here.

2008-08-30T21:31:00.003Z

Tomorrow is the last day of the summer holidays and on Monday my children will all be back at school. I'll have approximately 12 weeks of quiet time during the day before our little bundle of joy will be born. I intend to make the most of that time!

Little Barney will be starting his very first day of school on Monday. He's very excited about it, although understandably a little nervous. Annabelle will be starting her first day of High School, whilst her big brother moves into the third year. So Monday will be the first day back to routine since we went travelling around America in January! What a change it will be! It's been so long that I can't even remember what times the schools start and finish at each day.

This week seems to have been very busy. What with running around to get the last few items of uniform, naming uniforms, washing, ironing and generally keeping up with the housework. I've started making homemade bread again (at last). So I'm now fully back to sprouting seeds and making bread, which should really help my health. Dan has been an amazing Dad this week and spent a lot of time with young Barney. Maybe it's the realisation that he will soon be at school. But he has made cakes with him, taken him out on walks, and made little marshmallow top hat sweets. You can read about some of that on Dan's blog - which is rarely updated but worth checking out when it is!

Wednesday evening saw us going to the wedding party of Jools and Andrew. Jools is a belly dancing friend of mine and she looked absolutely beautiful on her wedding day. It was great to see her and also another of my dance friends that has moved away.

Apocalyptica - Path

2008-08-24T16:15:00.001Z

Metallica, Dublin 2008

2008-08-22T15:01:00.008Z

It was on our travels in America that we heard that Metallica would be playing in Dublin this summer. I was so excited but really didn't think of booking tickets as I'd just found out that I was pregnant, and had no idea if I would be feeling well enough to go to the gig or not. But that didn't put Dan off. He secretly bought two Metallica tickets for us, while we were somewhere in a desert, somewhere in America (the wonders of the internet, eh?)

So this week saw us trekking down to Dublin for the gig of the year. I spent about 5 days building up to it. Some days I feel fine, but other days I feel so rough that I can barely get out of bed, and I didn't want to be like that at the gig! So I spent a few days getting early nights (I slept for 20 hours on Monday!), eating lots of alfalfa and broccoli sprouts, and generally taking care of myself. And it worked!

Our mate D was also going to the gig so we all drove down in the car together. What should have been an hour & a half drive turned out to be a four hour drive, due to the concert congesting the roads, and lane closures. It took us 3 hours to drive 17 miles at one point. Which meant we missed the supporting bands, and arrived just in time for the last song by Tenacious D. I was a bit gutted at missing them as I thought Jack Black would be very entertaining on stage, but at least we were in time for Metallica.

There must have been at least 20,000 people at the gig. That's a LOT of people, in a big muddy field, mostly filled to capacity with alcohol. Dan was very protective of me in my condition and kept me near the back where I had lots of room to myself. Every time anyone came near me he put a protective arm across my bump, which I found very sweet. Perhaps I should have bubble wrapped myself. D went off to the front of the crowd and got lost in the mosh pit. He met us at the end of the gig (minus his treasured hat which he was proud to say died and was lost forever in the Metallica mosh pit, LOL) looking a bit the worse for wear.

And what about Metallica? Well, I have to say that they were absolutely fantastic live. Seriously amazing. I think I enjoyed the intimacy of the Apocalyptica gig more, but for such a huge audience Metallica certainly rocked the place. They played one of the songs, Cyanide, from their new album 'Death Magnetik', plus a set including tons of my favourites including Enter Sandman, Whiskey In The Jar, One, Ride The Lightning, The Memory Remains, Master of Puppets, and ending with Seek And Destroy. I found the whole thing totally shattering, but was just getting past the pain barrier of standing for so long during pregnancy when the show came to an end. They had a display of fireworks during Enter Sandman, and during the song 'One' an amazing pyrotechnic display of mushroom bombs! Which was very impressive.

All in all it was a great gig, and I'm glad that I was able to stand long enough to enjoy it.

Medical Insurance Dramas

2008-08-20T10:28:00.002Z

Those of you who read my travel blog will remember that we had to come home from our 5 month trip 2 weeks early due to complications with my pregnancy. At the time the medical insurance company we were using were extremely unhelpful. I had been to A&E and been told by doctors that I must return to the UK for monitoring of baby and blood pressure medication for me (which is now starting to work thank goodness). But the travel insurance company (Insure and Go) wouldn't agree to send me home without a ton more doctor visits and forms to be signed. Dan spoke to them at the time and they said we could return home at our own cost and make the claim for reimbursement from them when we got home. So that is what we did.

However, on arriving home and sending in our claim we started to receive letters that hinted that because we hadn't made our claim in America we would not be entitled to any reimbursement. Well to cut a long story short, we received a lot of letters, a lot more emails, and various forms to fill in, all of which hinted at us trying to con money out of them, and that we wouldn't receive any compensation.

So you can imagine how amazed I was this morning when a cheque arrived in the post from Insure and Go, with a letter explaining that they have already paid the hospital expenses directly to the hospital in Oregon. But not only that, they included a cheque which covered the cost of prescriptions, motel stays in San Francisco, and the cost of 5 flights home, (despite them insisting at the time that they would only pay for me and one other person even though that meant leaving my kids behind in America!) Well, blow me down, they actually paid out. What a relief!

22 week baby scan

2008-08-18T14:51:00.005Z

Today was an exciting day for our little family. The 22 week scan of baby number 4. Needless to say I was very excited about seeing how our little bundle is getting along. Daddy, Annabelle and Barney all came along to see their little one on the screen (Jimmie said he will just wait til next time as playing on the computer is more fun).

At first I went into the scan room on my own while the radiologist spent quite some time taking measurements and looking for various things (heart, stomach, bladder etc) She said baby is measuring perfect for due dates (19th December). Then she invited Dan and the kids in to see. Little Barney was very excited to see the little person who's cot he had chosen and helped put together earlier last week. He has already bought baby's first teddy bear (a very large crocodile from Ikea). He was full of chat and questions for the radiologist. He announced that our baby looks like a dinosaur, and I suppose he's quite right! Much to his disappointment baby had it's legs tightly crossed for the entire 15 minute scan and so we couldn't find out whether it is a girl or boy. But Barney doesn't need any confirmation - he knows for sure that it's a girl, and if it's a boy he will still love it anyway.

Baby had the hickups during the scan (something which I can feel he/she has a lot these days) and we could all see its little chest jerking with each hickup. The radiologist managed to get a good picture of babys face (see photo above which doesnt look anything as clear as it did on the screen at the time) and we all saw baby opening and closing its mouth, then lift its hand up towards us. Barney said the baby was waving at us and trying to say hello. How sweet.

A visit from Neil

2008-08-12T13:48:00.006Z

This weekend we were delighted to see our friend Neil from Birmingham who came to stay with us for a few days. He's never set foot in Ireland before, so we were more than happy to show him a little of the north. The weather was pretty dismal all weekend (no surprises there) but the sun managed to shine whenever we stepped foot outside of the car.

I picked him up from Belfast City Airport on Saturday morning and took him on a little driving detour of Belfast city, before driving home to Banbridge. We saw some of the murals around east Belfast (where I used to live) and then drove through the centre to see the City Hall, University, etc. Since the sun started shining in the afternoon we decided to make the most of it and took a drive with the kids to Newcastle, Co Down. As we stepped out onto the beach the sun started beaming down for us! Barney, Annabelle, and Annabelle's best friend from school all got totally covered in wet sand, but had a good time digging about on the beach. We then drove up into the Mourne Mountains a bit and stopped at the Silent Valley Dam. You can see all the photos from Newcastle, and the Giants Causeway by clicking here.

Although the weather on Sunday was pretty awful we still took our trip to the Giants Causeway in county Antrim. The coastal drive to the causeway is beautiful, although far more spectacular when not raining. The queue to get into the Causeway car park went on for miles. I've only ever been there in the winter when its quiet, so I was surprised to see it so busy. Despite the rain we still managed to have a walk around the causeway stones without getting wet (except for Jimmie who almost got swept away in the waves!) The sun stayed out long enough for us to explore.

It was great to have Neil over to visit. Barney just thought he was great, and had him tortured playing games of hide n seek. Hopefully next time he will come for a little longer and we can show him some more of the delights of Northern Ireland.

Update on family life.

2008-08-12T13:27:00.006Z

We've managed to keep ourselves quite busy the last week or so. In preparation for the baby we are changing the upstairs office into a nursery, and the downstairs spare room into an office. But the downstairs room (our old home education study room) was a tip. The 14 year old wallpaper was peeling and just disgusting, so we decided to strip it and give it a lick of paint. So Dan spent a day stripping wallpaper, and another day painting the room magnolia. If our wireless internet connection ever arrives (we've been waiting 2 months for it now) we will be able to move the computer into the new office and start work preparing the baby's new room.

In an attempt to get me to believe we are really having another baby, Dan sent me off to Ikea to buy a cot. Barney and I spent many hours in Ikea (our first ever visit there) and came home with a new cot, mattress, duvet, sheets and blankets for the baby. It was good for Barney to help in choosing these things. It's helped him to feel a part of the whole 'baby thing'. I let him chose the baby's first teddy bear, which he will bring to the hospital as a gift when baby is born. He chose a HUGE green crocodile. He is sleeping with it until he baby is born, just to take care of it. After we paid for it and he carried it to the car he said "Mummy, I hope the baby doesn't die when it's born, now that I've bought it such a lovely present".

The doctor has started me on medication to lower my blood pressure, which is working fabulously. Apparently I am taking an extremely low dose, but it has worked effectively to lower my BP to around the 75 mark, instead of over 100. She was delighted with the results. On Monday of next week we have our big 22 week pregnancy scan at the hospital. When I was pregnant with Barney the big kids came to see the scan. This time the whole family will be trudging along to Craigavon Hospital to see how the youngest member of the family is getting on. These days baby is starting to kick very strongly. Dan felt his first kick with his hand on my tummy this week.

We have been dog sitting my sisters dog Leila for the past few weeks while she is on holiday in Australia. Leila has proved to be a big hit with the kids, and she's been spoilt rotten. Between sleeping on peoples beds and getting up to 10 walks a day, I don't think she'll ever want to go home!

A summer wedding

2008-08-05T19:19:00.005Z

Yesterday saw Dan and I put on our glad rags as we headed off for the wedding of his friend R (and his fiance, obviously). R has worked in our CD shop since the day it opened 7 years ago. We were delighted to be able to share his happy day with him.

So Mum came to babysit, and I tried my best to make my horrible shapeless sack of a maternity dress look pretty. I thought Dan looked amazing in a suit! It's not very often that he gets to wear one. In the end we got ourselves looking quite respectable, even if I do say so myself!

This was the first wedding in a chapel that I've ever attended, and I found it very interesting. I was fascinated by the bell ringing, chanting and kneeling. Having been christened into the Catholic church myself but never having attended it, I always find it interesting to see how I could have been brought up if circumstances had been different. The service was lovely and the bride beautiful, as expected. Even R scrubbed up well for the big day!

The reception was held in a beautiful lakeside setting. Every detail of the day was just divine. The food, the company, the setting. A really lovely day. I didnt know a single person apart from the groom but within minutes of arriving at the reception I'd met his entire family and had my legs sprayed with cooling spray by his mother! They were a really lovely bunch. I hope R and his new wife are as happy as Dan and I have been together. I'm sure they will be.

2008-07-30T11:25:00.003Z

I have the use of my sisters car for three weeks so we should be able to get out of the house for a bit and have a few wee adventures. I also have the pleasure of her dog for three weeks too. Though she seems no trouble so far.

On Monday we went to the hospital as requested to have Dan's blood checked. The midwife was rather vague about the whole issue of antibodies in my blood, but Dan kept pressuring her for some answers. Why are they always so reluctant to reveal what is going on with ones body and unborn child? She said that there are antibodies in my blood that could harm the baby. All due to me being of a rhesus negative blood group. They are trying to find out if Dan also has antibodies. If he hasn't then it means that somewhere my blood and the baby's blood has mixed (as far as I can work out from her sketchy brief explanations). She said that baby will be more closely monitored with blood tests and scans every two weeks, and that baby may need to be delivered early if it is showing signs of ill health. That's as much as I could find out so far. But I can feel the baby kicking and moving around a lot, so that puts my mind at rest. I am now 20 weeks, exactly half way through the pregnancy. Doesn't time fly? (I'm sure I wont be saying that in another 20 weeks time!)

The weather had improved somewhat over the start of the week. The kids have spent some quality time out in the garden. Here are Barney and Annabelle enjoying the sunshine and taking Hudge the guinea-pig for a wee swing!

Baby has a heartbeat

2008-07-24T12:08:00.002Z

This morning saw Barney and I visiting the local midwifery clinic for my 2 week pregnancy check up. Barney was particularly impressed that he got to hear the new baby's heartbeat before his brother and sister, and before his Daddy. His little face lit up with excitement and amazement when the midwife asked if he could hear his baby siblings heart beating. I couldn't help beaming a big smile myself just from watching his wee enchanted face.

My blood pressure was even higher than usual at my checkup and the midwife seemed suitably worried. She is coming out to the house tomorrow to take it again and is requesting that I get some medication at last to bring it down.

This is turning into a bit of a pregnancy blog as I'm just not doing anything or going anywhere to report. As soon as something fun happens I'll be sure to let you all know!

Feeling the stress

2008-07-21T17:00:00.003Z

The last few days have been a bit of a bummer, to say the least. On Friday some good friends of ours came to visit. It was great to see them again after so many months, but the exhertion of entertaining them (not that I lifted a finger really) sent me to bed that night with the start of a migraine. It seems that my high blood pressure doesn't affect me if I sit at home and do nothing. But as soon as I have guests, go out somewhere, or try to do anything other than rest, my blood pressure shoots up and I end up in bed with a migraine. I can't even get to Tesco's for some shopping without two days of sleep afterwards. So after our friends left I spent two full days in bed, with vomitting, the banging splitting head feeling, and severly disturbed vision and sensitivity to light. Dan tried to blacken out the windo in our bedroom but I still had to put a blindfold over my eyes. Today I made it out of bed and have been ok, even managing some housework and cooking.

But this afternoon I received a call from a midwife at my hospital. She said that the blood tests they'd taken on my last visit showed antibodies in my blood. I am rhesus negitive and Dan is rhesus positive, so theres always a risk of my body having difficulties with a rhesus positive baby. Out of the 3 kids I've had so far, only one of them was rhesus positive like their father. Us rhesus negative blood groups are a rarer type and I usually have to endure anti-D injections after the babies are born. Anyway, the midwife said they needed to see Dan at the hospital to test his blood. They asked me if he had ever had any blood transfusions (which he has) and asked me to send him in for some tests. The midwife wouldn't say much more about it, and all I know is that my body can fight a rhesus positive baby if there are antibodies present. So I guess I'll just have to wait and see what they say when we visit.

Baby at 18 weeks

2008-07-16T17:40:00.003Z

Taken in 1965 by a Swiss photographer, this image was the first of its kind to show a live fetus inside the amniotic sac. This is a baby at 18 weeks gestation, which is exactly where I am at the moment, and so I wanted to post this picture onto the blog.

Right now my baby is kicking against the desk table. He is only 6 inches long from his head to bottom, but is already causing quite a commotion in there. I think she's having a rave right now. My baby can now hear sounds from the outside world, including my heartbeat and voice, and the voices of others around me. At almost half way through the pregnancy she is already a perfectly formed little human, just growing in strength and size until the big day.

Baby names

2008-07-12T11:51:00.004Z

Doesn't everyone like a good chat about baby names? Well, women do at least. Especially mothers or expectant mothers. It's amazing how a group of women can while away the hours discussing names for the protruding bump. I am no exception. I do like to come up with my short list of baby names well before the baby is born. That way I have time to mull over the names in my head and decide whether they will stand the test of time, and am less likely to name my baby something I'd forever regret. I also have childhood memories of my littlest sister, who remained nameless for 6 weeks after birth because she was supposed to be a boy and my parents had run out of girls names.

I've received quite a few emails now asking about baby names so I thought I'd throw them out here onto the net for your perusal and comments. Please feel free to suggest any other names you feel are apt. I've received a good few suggestions based on the fact that our baby was conceived out in the deserts of New Mexico on our travels, names such as Sandy. So feel free to suggest names along those lines too, although I can't promise that I'll choose any of them!

No, we don't know the sex of the baby. We have never asked the sex of our babies and I highly doubt we will this time. I do like to hear my husbands emotional tear-jerked voice announce "its a boy/girl" at the end of all that damn hard work.

So here is our shortlist, so far. Basically if its a girl its probably going to be named either Emily or Zoe, with the middle name of Grace, Rose or Skye. Our family is unanimously agreed on that one, so I doubt any newer suggestions are going to tempt us away. But do go ahead and try. Our boys name list on the other hand is longer, and far less definite. I have so far used my favourite boys names and have a hard time finding any that I like as much as the ones I've already used up. But the shortlist so far include ....

Charlie, Jack, Oliver, Harry, Jamie, Henry, Rhys, Tyler, Harvey, Harley, and Joel. This list is set to change dramatically as the weeks pass. With additions and subtractions along the way. At this point let me say that our three children have biblical names so far, but this is purely coincidental. Samuel, Jude and Luke are biblical names, but were not chosen because of this. So non biblical names are perfectly fine. But one thing is for sure, I'm not calling it Randy.

Setlling back in

2008-07-10T12:03:00.004Z

It's taken a little while to get used to being back at home. Especially as things are so different now. Neither of us are working at the moment, we don't have a car, or any money left, and we have the excitement of a new baby on the way. I've found it hard to settle back into home life. Firstly because we spent 5 glorious months traveling every day. Just waking up and deciding where to go and what to do. No ties and no boredom what so ever. Now, back at home I can't go anywhere as we don't have a car and I'm not well enough to get about the place. Secondly, life is not what it was before we left as we no longer have the business. Dan is at home, and taking over all the household chores, a) because I'm not well enough, and b) because he likes to keep busy. So, I'm a bit restless and redundant, although I cant complain as we've just had the best year ever.

The weather has been awful since we got home... rain, rain and more rain. I'm desperate to get back out into my vegetable garden. The only bit of home life Dan won't want to take over, lol. I've made it out briefly, twice, in between rain showers. What was once a beautiful healthy vegetable, fruit and herb garden (see here for the before photo) is now a jungle of 4ft tall weeds! Oh, the heartache!

I've cleared a few of them away, but I really only manage about 20 minutes of gentle weeding before my blood pressure goes up again and I have to lie down in a dark room. I'd really love to be able to get some lettuces planted, if nothing else. I do find it so therapeutic. This is me in my weed garden sporting some lovely pink welly boots and a 16 week baby bump.

The kids are settling in quite well. For the first week we barely saw them. Barney still keeps discovering toys he'd forgotten about. And the bigger kids have been inundated with offers for sleep overs, trips out with their friends etc. Barney says he misses the RV and misses America. He likes to sit and chat about all the things we saw and experienced out there. The bigger two kids are using the summer to catch up on school work they missed. Annabelle only needs to catch up on some maths, but Jimmie has two hours of school work each morning, which covers French, Science, Maths and English. They don't seem to mind doing it. I think they realise they got a pretty good deal with the trip.

Home at last

2008-07-09T16:10:00.004Z

Thanks to everyone who has sent concerned emails the last few weeks. I have just read them all this morning. Yes we are home, alive and well. I've spent most of three weeks in bed, watching Dan do most of the housework. The journey home finished me off and I thought I was going to sleep for the rest of the pregnancy. Its taken till today to get our internet switched back on, and so I've had no way of posting since we left America.

Three weeks after our big trip across the US, it all almost seems like a dream now. I have found it hard to settle back into home life. Going from driving to new destinations every day, to being housebound, unwell and with no car has been a bit tough. Not to mention the worry about our baby and whether it was ok or not.

But I'm happy to report that yesterday we had our first baby scan and little bundle of joy number four is alive, well and kicking. My blood pressure is still very high, although not as bad as it was in America. The doctors are keeping an eye on it. In 8 weeks time they will carefully scan the placenta to make sure that its ok. High blood pressure can cause clots to form in the placenta from around that time, so they are going to keep a check on it. The scan was amazing. Junior lifted his/her head right up as if looking into the scanner and started blowing kisses at us!

I will post more in a day or so when there isn' a queue of family members waiting to check their emails.

Gone Travelling

2008-01-29T14:08:00.001Z

This blog has been paused for 6 months while we travel. You can read our travel blog instead by clicking here.

Happy Birthday Dan!

2008-01-27T00:44:00.000Z

The old man is now even older! 36 to be exact. Ok, well not exactly, his birthday isn't until Thursday, but since the kids are going to my Mums for 2 days while we pack, and then we will be on a long flight and arriving in Florida on his birthday, we decided to celebrate it a few days early. So, for the purposes of convenience, Dan's birthday was today.

And after 14 years I finally got the whole present buying thing right, and bought him things he actually wanted! Ok, I'm a bit of a slow learner, but I get there in the end. And he still has the other half of his life to look forward to all the nice presents I can get him in future.

So what did we do? Well, Dan sneaked out of bed before me and took Annabelle to the local high school open day to look round. LOL. But when they got home Barney and I sang happy birthday and called Dan upstairs to the bedroom where an array of presents awaited him.

As is custom in our house, present opening always happens on our big King Size bed, as a family. (I wonder when the kids will grow out of that). This year we gave Dan stuff for the trip, including new clothes, a new windproof coat, an MP3 player, a portable hard drive, a torch, and chocolate. Oh how exciting. LOL.

After all that excitement we took a trip to PC world in Lisburn where Dan didn't actually buy anything in the end, and I went to Argos and bought some holdalls for our trip (and a camera for Jimmie, and a new MP3 player for Annabelle - yes, you'd think I was made of money. Sadly, I'm not). Then we took Dan to McDonald's (or did he take us? Yes, I think he did).

This evening once the kids were in bed we got a DVD from the video shop (something with Jodie Foster in it, the name has gone from my spongey brain) and watched it together in the living room, all cuddled up under a duvet. It was an odd kind of birthday really as we are so crazy organizing this trip. But I think he had a good day in the end.

Here are some photos from the day....

Pic 1) Barney wrapped up one of his colouring books for his Daddys birthday present, bless. 2) Daddy opening his presents with the kids (and sporting his new headphones & mic set!) 3) Dan looking mighty handsome in the new clothes I bought him 4) Annabelle and Jimmie in McDonalds 5) Barney & Dan in McDonalds, 6) Me, being my usually silly self (in public, as always)

Oh by the way, our mate Neil really wants to be mentioned in todays blog post. He has kind of a dull life and nothing much to look forward to so this will make his day. LOL. So hello Neil! (He's single by the way girls, and quite a catch in my opinion - if you like gingers, lol) My blog is turning into a lonely hearts ad site. LOL, "36 YO Male, Birmingham, SGSBM (sexy ginger slightly balding man), Athletic, likes walks in the rain and quiet nights in front of the fire, GSOH, own house and car, fully toilet trained...."

Banbridge Leader Article, Tues 22nd January 2008

2008-01-23T21:59:00.001Z

Click on the photo to see it in full size and read the article about our wee shop closing.

Fun n Frolicks

2008-01-20T14:34:00.000Z

Our good friends Heather & Davy invited us to dinner on Friday evening. As is usual at their place, our kids all dressed in drag and put on a show. (I think they get it from their mother personally). Heather cooked us all a gorgeous meal and made sure we all went home stuffed to the gills. After tea we watched the kids delightful pop routine, and then they all went off to play grown up games, while the adults played virtual sports games on the playstation/tv thingy (I've no idea what it was). Basically, you held a control in your hand and played games of bowling, baseball, tennis or boxing. I was fab at the boxing and totally thrashed my opponent! I wasn't so hot at the tennis. Steve really put his heart and soul into the baseball, only to later discover that the controller worked without throwing ones entire body around the room. Anyway, here are some pics....

New Travel Blog

2008-01-16T22:49:00.000Z

We have decided to dedicate a new blog to our 6 month trip across America. You can read it and add it to your favourites, by clicking here.

Vital CD Shop in Banbridge closes down

2008-01-10T23:57:00.000Z

Our last day as owners of the coolest shop in Northern Ireland. Its been hard work. Its been fun. We have grown quite attached to this place and will miss it. But look forward to new adventures.

The terrific buisness of planning a 6 month trip in just 3 weeks

2008-01-09T15:34:00.000Z

Well, since deciding finally to take this trip across America life has suddenly hurtled into fast motion. In all honesty, I thought life could be no busier than it already was. How wrong I was!

Half way through packing our lifes contents into boxes to go into storage, Dan decides that we should not worry about packing the home up. We should leave it on the market and if it sells we will worry about getting a company to pack it all up, but if it doesn't, we have a home to come back to. I already have about 40 boxes and bin bags of items to sell - things we don't want or need any more. But it looks like I dont need to pack up the entire house, for the mean time.

This afternoon the big kids are taking boxes into their bedrooms in order to clear out anything they can sell. Once Dan's shop is closed he is going to use the premises for a week or so, to sell all our unwanted posessions. I have lurred the kids with the promise of the funds paying for a little trip to Disneyland in Florida, and all of a sudden they have whole bedrooms full of things they dont want any more!

On the 15th January we have appointments to get American travel visas. Because we are travelling for more than 90 days we each need a special visa. We have to proove that we intend to return home after 6 months. In order to do this I need letters from the kids schools saying that their places are being kept for them, travel insurance to cover a 6 month period (I sorted this out this morning), proof that we own a home here, and bank statements proving that we have enough money to cover our trip, plus proof that we have hired an RV for the intened amount of time, and that we have tickets to come home again. The tickets home is a bit tough as I dont intend to purchase any tickets until we have the visas.

I am desperately trying to organise a visit to my death row penpal in Georgia whilst we are there, but really dont have a clue whether we will be able to organise this in time. I kind lady who lives nearby has offered to help me organise this. Apparently the prisons offer special extended weekend visits for people who have travelled overseas. I know that E will be gutted if we are in his state and dont manage a visit. We both know it will be the only chance we ever have to meet, and since we have been writing once a week for over 2 years now, it would be such a shame.

Well, I really dont have the time to sit here blogging. Lol. As much as I'd like to. I am thinking of starting a travel blog dedicated just to the trip rather than filling our family blog up with it. I'm not sure yet though.

Let me leave you with a few photos of some of the truly amazing places we intend to visit....

Snow!

2008-01-03T19:42:00.001Z

The trip is ON

2008-01-03T10:55:00.000Z

Well, almost, almost definitely on. Will be on by lunch time, all being good.

Dan is on the phone right now to the bank to ask them to freeze our mortgage while we are away. If that goes well we shall phone the American Consulate in Belfast to arrange Visas. That takes 12 days. So anytime within the next 4 weeks we hope to be off on our trip across America!

I'm just a little bit over excited about this, as you can imagine. Right now, I'm stuck in limbo. Our whole house will need packing up and putting into storage as we are leaving it on the market in the hopes that it will sell while we are gone. So theres a lot of work to be done there. But until the bank give us a yes or no, I can't do a thing.

... ... ... ... ...

Ok, so Dan just got back to me there. He spoke to the bank and it takes 7 days to get a definite answer, but he had to answer a lot of questions which were all basically about debt and bankrupcy etc. Since he answered positively to each question the lady at the bank seemed sure that there is no reason why our application would be refused. So thats good news.

Now I need to get a ton of information together for Dan to phone the consulate to arrange our visa appointments. Since we will be travelling for more than 90 days we need special visas. It takes 12 days from start to finish for the whole visa application thing.

It's gonna be a busy few weeks!

Reflections over 2007

2008-01-01T21:16:00.000Z

I've spent a few days thinking about 2007, and pondering over 2008. 2007 was possibly the busiest most manic year of my life so far. In many ways it has been very fulfilling, and in other ways sad and disappointing. But mostly, its been busy. 2008 will be a very different year for our family. Our business is closing, we have no plans for future income, we are hoping to sell our house and go travelling within the next 12 weeks. So 2008 offers many possibilities, but what I would like more than anything from it, is to bond closer with my gorgeous family. To spend more time with them, and to experience many adventures together. I also hope for a peaceful year, and to make some new special friends.

So while I've been pondering over all of this, I got to thinking about 2007. I started writing a list of things that I remember from the year, and now I realise why I feel so utterly shattered, and as if I have just reached the end of a year long marathon! Here are some of the memories I hold from 2007....

The highlight of my entire year was no doubt, the Apoclayptica concert. This evening was far more than entertainment. It blew my mind. But I wont harp on about it as I already devoted a post to that (which, may I add, was featured on an Apocalyptica website!)

At the start of the year we were still home educating Annabelle.

We introduced the idea of The Red Plate which has worked well for us all year and is still in regular use.

I attended my first Tinnitus appointment in an attempt to work out what was wrong with me.

We left the fellowship which I'd been attending since the age of 4 ad were criticised by Dan's family and shunned by our friends.

I started sprouting, milling, making my own bread and researching raw food lifestyles.

We took day trips to W5, Castle Espie, Gosford Forest Park, the Aquarium, Newcastle, and Hillsborough Lake, and the World of Owls in Ransdalstown (amoungst many others I'm sure)

I started my 2nd term of bellydancing and took on an extra course.

I was emailed on two ocassions and asked to go on Wife Swap!! (and refused both times!)

I had an MRI scan of my brain which turned out to be the most horrifying ordeal of my life so far! Realised how badly claustrophobic I am and spent the rest of the year finding more and more situations unbearable (such as sitting in window seats on buses or planes).

I bought a new dehydrator and began making my own cereals, crakers and dried raw foods.

Went to see the Belfast Giants Ice Hockey match.

Went to see the Russian Circus at the Waterfront Hall.

Raised money to feed Tinkhani in Zambia (thanks to readers of my blog.)

I started working 2 - 3 days a week in Dans shop.

Annabelle started full time school again.

We started our 2nd year of vegetable gardening.

Dan bought me a beautiful new engagement ring and re-proposed to me.

We took a family weekend break in Derry and had the best family weekend ever.

I went to Dubai on my own for a week (and what a week it was!)

I had a carotid dopler scan on my neck which revealed the reason for my pulsatile tinnitus.

I started using a white noise hearing aid.

I performed in my first belly dance (the fan dance at the Hafla in the Radison Hotel)

We started planning for our 2008 trip.

I danced at the Belfast Dance In The Park show.

I fell down the stairs, broke my toes and spent 12 weeks on crutches.

I got a tattoo.

Jimmie turned 12 years old and got his first girlfriend.

I danced in 3 dances at the Golden Camels Awards and learnt how to dance and play the sagats.

Dan and I attended the Burlesque Night in Belfast.

Barney developed an obsession for Hama Beading and cost me a fortune in beads.

Barney turned 4.

Annabelle turned 11.

I took a trip to England to see old friends and meet Tabi's twin girls.

Dan took a trip to Latvia and had the time of his life.

Hannah's Hen Party.

David's Stag Party.

Hannah & David got married and we were all bridesmaids, flower girls, page boys or groomsmen.

I performed my first (gothic) solo belly dance at the Blood & Glitter show in Laverys.

I took a trip to England to see HIM in concert.

I went to London and met my friend Neil.

I got my tongue pierced.

Dan and I took a weekend in Dublin to see Apocalyptica.

We celebrated another Christmas.

I turned 31.

Here is my favourite photos from this year...

Another year older...

2008-01-01T20:40:00.000Z

As always, at the end of every year, I get another year older. This year I turned 31. Of course, I'm totally in denial about how old I am. But hey, what can you do about it? You can't fight it.

My family were totally lovely to me all day. I think it was possibly the nicest birthday so far. This year Dan made an extra effort to buy me presents that I'd actually like (rather than shower gels and things that I could buy in Tesco myself any day of the week). I knew my presents were going to be good, as Dan and the kids kept telling me. However, Dan had paid for me to go to England to see HIM in concert (for my birthday) so it really should have been a quiet day.

On Saturday morning I was awoken in bed by an extremely excited Barney. Of course he helped me open everything, and got more pleasure out of it than you could think possible.

Dan had really made an effort to buy fabulous gifts, and I was totally delighted. Amoungst other things I was given:

This book about HIM (Ville Valo) with hundreds of sexy photos of the man himself (a bit of bedtime reading! hehe).

An encyclopeadia of Heavy Metal Music (this is a dream gift for me - I know others may not appreciate it).

An MP3 player, new perfume, the new biography about Anthony Keidis from the Red Hot Chili Peppers entitled Scar Tissue ( I can't wait to get stuck into this), a book called 'What is Goth?' which is truly hilarious and informative (my new goth name is Marquesa Demona Enchantress of the Innocents & Dans is Master Vlad Defiler of the Virgins!!!!) a new handbag sized good camera, Nigella Lawsons cookbook for good quality fast family food, and lots lots more. My Mum gave me a beautiful red dress too. After a serious amount of present opening Dan and the kids took me to the new Ed's Diner thats opened up nearby and we stuffed ourselves silly.

Since it wasn't possible to fit 31 candles into a cake, I was presented by Annabelle with towering inferno of flames on a cheese cake. (see top photo) How novel!

My Mum kindly agreed to take the kids overnight on Saturday night so we were able to go into Belfast and meet up with some friends. My sister Maddi & her partner Tom came too, as well as some of the lovely belly dancing girls I've made friends with recently. It's so hard to get people at this time of year as everyone is so busy, so we decided to go out rather than have a party or anything.

First pic is of me all dressed up and ready to go out. Second pic is me wearing the cool hat and gloves that Maddi bought me!

Two of my lovely belly dancing friends with me, Jools on the left, and Aleksandra on the right.

This is me on the left and my sister Maddi on the right. She fell in love with the hat and gloves she gave me and I rather thought I wasn't going to get them back!

Tom and Dan, two of the luckiest men in the world, in my opinion!

So, all in all I had a fabulous day. We had a great laugh in Laverys with friends, and a bit of a boogie too. Dan and I went back to Jools house for a kebab, which I horsed down as if I'd not eaten in a month!

Thanks to Dan for making it such a nice day, and to everyone for the lovely presents, and for the people who came out with me and made it such a nice night.

Quick Christmas Day Photos....

2007-12-25T13:13:00.001Z

Apocalyptica, Live in Dublin - best live band in the world!?

2007-12-17T09:59:00.000Z

It's Monday morning and instead of getting on with the mountains of housework, or wrapping up of Christmas presents, I'm sitting at my computer listening to Apocalyptica, and writing a blog post about the most amazing weekend we had.

Dan and I travelled down to Dublin on Friday, for Saturday nights Apocalyptica gig. Unfortunately I'd developed a violent cold and was sneezing all the way down on the bus, with two lovely big purple eyes. Apocalyptica are one of my favourite bands (I have many though). They are a cello band from Finland, and consist of 4 cellists, and now a drummer (although he is a relatively new addition). They became famous for their heavy metal covers, particularly their cello versions of Metallica songs. But now days they are as well known for their own music, with the new album 'Worlds Collide' having guest singers from various bands including Slipknot, Lacuna Coil and Rammstein. We knew that this show would be good, different and unique, but we were both totally blown away with the whole evening.

The supporting act were Lacrimus Profundere. The singer from Lacrimus came out at the very end of the evening when there were just a few stragglers from the audience left. We met him and had a brief chat about his band. I think he was looking for groupies (he didn't have any trouble finding them) but I wasn't gonna throw myself at any guy just cos he's the singer on a not yet very famous band, so he soon got bored talking to me. Haha.

The Dublin show was the last gig of Apocalyptica's 2007 European tour and right from the second they appeared on stage we could tell it would be a good night. They looked exhilarated and excited about their last gig of the year and the audience picked up on this straight away. The vibe in the audience was just hiving. The band had a look of almost disbelief as they performed and experienced for the first time the appreciation of an Irish crowd (I've always found Irish audiences, north or south, to be amazing enthusiastic audiences compared to the brits). They promised they'd be back to Ireland.

They played an almost 2 hour set, and their performances totally blew my mind! I've never experienced such a high from live music before. I think they are the best live band I've ever seen, they even blew my cold away! Their performance was energetic, passionate, lively, and totally out of this world. The drummer was obviously from another planet - the amount of energy and movement he put into drum playing was phenomenal. There are four professional cellists who manage to show that heavy metal music is just as valid an art form as any other type of music. There were no singers in the show, purely instrumental, and it lacked nothing.

The band were called back with 3 standing ovations. The Dublin crowd refused to let them leave and chanted "we want more". The first time they came back and performed another 3 songs. Then left and the crowd still wanted more. So they came back and played another 2 songs, with a look of disbelief on their faces. But that wasn't enough and we called them back for one more song and made them play until they all looked like they would faint from exhaustion! The crowd clapped and cheered for the longest I've ever seen anyone clap a band, and Apocalyptica left the stage looking totally exhilarated and mind blown themselves!

When they come back to Ireland I am going to drag everyone I know to their gig so that they can experience this band live for themselves. As amazing as their albums are, they do no justice to the buzz of the live gig.

Goth nights and wet hair

2007-12-11T10:02:00.000Z

I'm back from a fabulous weekend away in England. The purpose of the trip was to see one of my favourite bands in concert. H.I.M - a gothic love metal band from Finland. Unfortunately they didn't include any part of Ireland on their tour, so I arranged to visit an old school friend in England and we went to the show together. (HIM are the band that I danced to in the gothic bellydance show).

The concert was held in the Guildhall, Portsmouth, which was a grand old building that looked like a cathedral. Caroline picked me up from the airport and we drove straight to Portsmouth. Had some dinner then headed to the show, only to discover the biggest queue I'd ever seen to get into the building.

Killing Hannah were the support act (although I didn't know who they were at the time and didn't see much of them). H.I.M were pretty much as I expected - awesome. I got pretty close to the front. Close enough to see Ville Valo as he sang. He has just the most amazing voice. I took a few pictures and videos on my camera phone but its hard to get a good pic in that sort of dark environment.

There are a few pics of the show, and of myself and Caroline in the concert and outside of the Guildhall.

We drove back to Kent late that night and crashed into bed totally exhausted. That was on the Friday. Then on Saturday I had arranged to meet a dear friend of ours, Neil, in London. He travelled down from Birmingham, and I got the train up from Maidstone. It was only an hours travel for me, much longer for him I think.

The weather in London was miserable. However, I'm from Northern Ireland so the weather just doesn't really bother me, I'm used to it. It rained all day and we got thoroughly soaked. We went to several musuems (including the Tate modern, as Neil wanted to show me the huge crack in the floor!), looked at lots of artwork and photography (I discovered some of the paintings I'd written essays about on my Open University course a few years back), walked for miles around various places (Picadilly, Leicester Square, Carnaby Street etc). We saw the biggest environmental protest march go past, and queued to get into Hamleys toy store. Oxford Street was absolutely packed with Christmas shoppers. It reminded me of New York. I've never seen so many people crammed into shops like that. The queue into Hamleys was phenomenal and caused a human traffic jam. Inside the shop was just as packed. People just go mad at Christmas! I'm now trying to do all my Christmas shopping online.

At the end of the day Neil took me back to Victoria station to catch my train (because I was totally lost in London, lol). That evening my good friend Tabi (from grammar school days) came round to Carolines and we all pigged out on Chinese food, told funny stories (I wont embarass Tabi by telling her embarassing waxing story on here, lmao) and talked about bras a lot. LOL. Typical girlie evening. It was great to see Tabi and Caroline again, although it was such a flying visit. But I had a wonderful weekend.

This weekend Dan and I are off to Dublin for 2 nights to see Apocalyptica. I tell you what, nothing happens for years and then it all happens at once.

Blood & Glitter, Gothic Bellydance Show!

2007-12-02T12:18:00.000Z

Everyone knows I've been rehearsing like a nutter for my first solo bellydance performance. The show was on Friday night. I am just soooo glad it's finally all over. All that practice, costume hunting and makin, for 3 1/2 minutes of performance. It seems like a total waste of time when I think about it!

The evening went really well. The Attic Bar in Laverys was packed with a great crowd of alternative looking people. I was 4th to perform and then I was able to sit back and relax. Actually, I didn't get at all nervous. I felt fine about the whole thing even though I was still improvising parts of the dance. There are lots of photos of the whole event, and even a bad quality phone video of my dance, on my facebook page.

My dance went really well. I think it was the best I have performed it so far. The girls who saw me in rehearsals told me I had really improved on it, so that was a releif. One man (who I later found out is a famous singer from the old punk band The Outcasts) told me I danced 'like a gazelle' (LMAO!) Dan said it went really well too and everyone seemed suitably impressed, so I was very happy indeed. I was the first out of my group of first time soloists to dance, so I was able to sit back and watch the rest of them, and enjoy the night. There were also professional dancers and group dances too.

The wedding of Hannah and David, 28/11/2007

2007-12-02T11:34:00.000Z

It's Sunday morning and I'm finally getting a moment to write about Wednesdays wedding. The biggest event of the year for our families. And what an amazing day it was! I think it was the loveliest wedding I've ever been to. Hannah put so much work into organising it, along with the help of various other people, especially Mum.

Barney and I spent Tuesday helping to decorate the reception hall, which was held in Castlewellan Castle. I thought Barney would be a nuisance for that day but he was absolutely great. He made friends with the chair delivery man, and the Castles caretaker. He put the rings on the napkins and helped scatter love heart shaped sequins over the tables.

Wednesday morning started early in our house. Everyone had to shower, including my sister Maddi and her partner Tom. Then Maddi, myself and Annabelle headed to the hairdressers. From there Maddi and I went to Mums house to help the bride get ready. The morning went relatively stress free, although Mum nearly had an anuerism at one point when she couldn't find the bridesmaids necklaces. At one horrifying moment, I got red lipstick on Hannah's wedding dress, and nearly died there and then, but we managed to get it off with babywipes.

Photos of us getting ready at Mums house.

We drove like royalty in two wedding cars to the church in Killinchy. Hannah and Mum in one car, followed by the three bridesmaids. At the church we were met by Dad, the flower girls (Annabelle & Jenny's three girls) and the Page Boys (Jimmy and Barney). They all looked adorable, the boys in their suits, and the girls in their tiaras. Dan looked amazing too in his suit which matched the grooms, as he was groomsman. I don't think our family has ever looked quite so smart before!

The flower girls started the procession, two by two, down the ilse, scattering rose petals, to the tune of Song Bird played on a harp and flute. They were followed by the two page boys. Then Hannah and Dad made their entrance, followed by Maddi and I, and last but not least Jenny.

The service in the church was held by David's Father who is a minister there. Dan also did a short talk in the church, and us bridesmaids & Mum sang a song - Come What May from Moulin Rouge.

The service was lovely, and we all had a tear in our eyes as we watched the happy couple make thier vows and share their rings. They looked so adorably happy together.

After the wedding there was a mini reception held in the church hall, before heading to Castlewellan Castle for photos and the reception.

Hannah & David leave the church as husband and wife, Cutting the cake at the mini reception, and Barney & I looking smart at the mini reception.

We stopped at the Lake in Castlwellan forest park for photos with the wedding photographer. None of us had ever been so cold before and we all got completely windswept. But the photos will be amazing.

Inside the castle we had a mammoth photo session, and I'm pretty sure the photos look like something from an OK magazine shoot.

Then finally, after all the photos were taken it was time for the reception. The hall looked gorgeous, and the food provided by the Castle was absolutely divine! I was only sorry I couldn't eat very much, squashed into that dress. We had the usual speeches, including a very funny slideshow of Davids life, by the best man (his brother). And then a bit of a disco session.

The day ended with the bride and groom leaving the Castle through an archway of sparklers, which looked very pretty indeed.

First pic from the wedding

2007-11-29T11:42:00.000Z

We left our camera at the wedding so I only have one photo until this afternoon. But here it is, my sisters and I in the wedding car, Hannah's bridesmaids. What a beautiful day it was. I will write more when I get the photos.

(edit - you can now view all the photos on my facebook by clicking here)

Lots of exciting things....

2007-11-24T09:47:00.000Z

I think I am currently going through the busiest 6 weeks of my life ever, at the moment! I can't complain as it's all good stuff, but I could sure do with some chill out time.

It's my littlest sister Hannah's wedding on Wednesday and needless to say everyone is running around like headless chickens trying to get it all sorted. Last Saturday was Hannah's hen party, and today is David's stag day (Dan is off at that al day today). Tonight I have my Mum and sisters coming round for a rehearsal of the song we are singing at the wedding, and I suppose to sort out any last little things. My sisters and I are bridesmaids, and our daughters are flower girls. On Monday we are getting ourselves tanned so that we dont look quite so washed out in the wedding photos, then Monday evening is the wedding rehearsal and decorating of hall. Then all day Tuesday is for decorating the church and reception area. And finally Wednesday is the wedding day which will start at the crack of dawn with hair appointments etc.

Once all that is over there is no rest as my solo dance performance is on Friday (Laverys Attic in Belfast - Blood & Glitter - £5 for a ticket or pay at the door!) and I'm rehearsing like a wild thing. Last night was the first time that I felt the dance looked anywhere near ready to be seen by anyone other than Dan! Dear lord, I hope I'm not going to totally humiliate myself. We have a rehearsal on Sunday, and I have to perform it in front of my class on Thursday night (yes the day after the wedding). So you can see how crazy everything is. I've been dancing for about 3 hours a day, on and off, and every muscle in my body is aching.

After all that is done, I'm off to England to see H.I.M in concert with my friend Caroline. I can't wait for that. And the weekend after that my Mum is having the kids for two nights whilst Dan and I go to Dublin to see Apocalptica. Then I guess it will be time for Christmas shopping and the start of a new year!

Here are a few photos of wee Barney helping me to rehearse my dance. (I'm dancing to HIM - Join Me in Death)

2007-11-20T21:33:00.000Z

Blood and Glitter Rehearsal

2007-11-19T08:34:00.000Z

Well most of you know that I'm dancing my first solo belly dance at Laverys nightclub, Belfast, on 30th November. Thats in less than two weeks time, so dress rehearsals have begun (despite my dance being far from ready yet!) Yesterday our teacher, Karen, held a rehearsal in her house and we all got dressed up. It was blooming nerve wracking performing in front of the other dancers, especially as they all went before me, and they were all excellent! I really felt as if I was letting the team down and I think I need to really work on mine over the next few days. Anyway, here are some pics from our rehearsal. (Mine are from before the rehearsal as I couldnt take pics of myself dancing at Karens!)

Hannah's Hen Party

2007-11-19T08:17:00.000Z

Its only a week and a half until the big day for my littlest sister Hannah and her fiance David. David's stag do will be held on Saturday, but this Saturday we celebrated Hannahs Hen Party, and what a day it was. It started with a day spa session at a Turkish Bath. This was awesome. There were 9 of us girls and we spent the day relaxing, nibbling, chatting, whilst also getting the Turkish bath and massage sessions.

After the spa session we drove to the Odyssey in Belfast where we dressed Hannah up in hen gear and tied 10 helium balloons to her. We then gave her 20 forfeits to chose from and every time she completed a forfeit we removed a balloon from her. The poor girl had to go bowling in this getup, and then on to a Spanish restaurant! But I think we made it memorable for her at least. You can see all of the photos by clicking here.

After the meal we all went back to Mums house for a slumber party and facial session. But not before driving Hannah round Belfast and Downpatrick, with balloons out the car windows, in convoy, beeping, hooting and shouting the whole way round. We got lots of cheers and commiseration's along the way!

Annabelles 11th Birthday

2007-11-19T08:05:00.001Z

Poor Annabelle has had two bouts of sickness lately, but at least she had a happy birthday in between. She got a temperature and is being sick rather a lot. This happened two weeks ago, and now its back again, although no one else caught it.

Anyway, last week she celebrated her 11th birthday and had a lovely time. Daddy took her out for pizza and cinema. She had lots of presents which she had to open in Victorian costume as she was going on a school trip to The Argory that day. I think all in all she had a lovely day. Here are a few pics....

Daddys Day Out

2007-11-02T23:23:00.000Z

Since its the last day of the school half term holidays, I worked in the shop and Dan took the kids for a Daddys day out. Daddys days out are always full of wonderful precious memories. When I saw the photos I so wished I'd been able to go too. It looked like they all had an awesome day together. Dan seems to have captured some real good shots as well, you can see the rest of them by clicking here.

They all took a trip to Newcastle and spent the day wandering the beaches and sand dunes. Despite the fact that its almost winter, it was mild enough that they didn't need coats! Little Barney spent the entire day picking things up and examining them - stones, shells, seaweed, dead crabs, you name it he found it. The kids always seem to enjoy a free day out in the fresh air so much more than any expensive day out!

Anyway, I cant say too much about it as I wasnt there, but here are some of the best pics...

Sparklers in the back yard

2007-11-02T22:44:00.000Z

I just wanted to post these few photos from today. When it got dark we went out to the garden to light some sparklers. This was Barneys first encounter with sparklers and I thought he'd be frightened seen as he doesnt like fireworks. But he absolutely loved them! He screamed with delight "Mummy, tonight I am going to have fantastic dreams!!" Dan took a lot of fantastic photos which you can see on his facebook account.

Halloween, 2007

2007-11-01T10:48:00.000Z

Last night was Halloween night, and we had a house full. Steve and I, and our kids; Jenny's kids, and Emma & her daughter. As usual we all got dressed up to go trick or treating, which is quite a big thing in this estate. The kids all collected a whole bag of sweets each, and had a great time together. Here are a few pics from last night. The rest of the pics are on my facebook or bebo.

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